


Soulmates

by AmandaBecker



Series: second chances [6]
Category: Sanditon (TV 2019), Sanditon - Jane Austen
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst and Romance, Angst with a Happy Ending, Drama & Romance, Eternity, F/M, Falling In Love, Fate, Fate & Destiny, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Forbidden Love, Forever, Love, Love at First Sight, Old Souls, Romance, Romantic Fluff, Romantic Soulmates, Sanditon, Sidlotte - Freeform, Soul Bond, Soulmates, Souls, Tragic Romance, True Love, againandagain, centuries, eternal, loveovercenturies, reborn lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-15
Updated: 2020-11-05
Packaged: 2021-02-19 09:01:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 25,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22742041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmandaBecker/pseuds/AmandaBecker
Summary: This is the story of two soulmates. Over several centuries, in which they meet, fall in love and have to defy circumstances again and again.
Relationships: Charlotte Heywood & Sidney Parker, Charlotte Heywood/Sidney Parker
Series: second chances [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1629343
Comments: 87
Kudos: 102





	1. Oracle of Delphi

**Author's Note:**

> This is the sixth part of the #6 Sanditon Valentines of the @sanditoncreative.  
> prompt was 'free choice' and mine is "Soulmates".
> 
> This is meant to be a more chapter work, if you like.
> 
> I mixed two quotes of two amazing series I loved very much.
> 
> One quote is from "The Field Where I Died", episode five, season four of the 'x-files'  
> and 'You Have Saved This City', episode 22, season 7 of 'Arrow'.

The young man from the island stood before the oracle of Delphi.  
Not at his own request, but at the request of his older brother. Whom could hardly show himself in public, because he had made many enemies with his misconduct.  
So he send him, to resolve his debts. As always.

The younger brother now stood before the oracle, tall and proud, the questions on his lips that his brother had ordered him to ask. He was not as worried about his own future as he was about his beloved brother and his family. 

The reason of his indifferences was one of the heart. Even though he was disappointed and had suffered, he did not understand why the poets made so much spectacle about it.  
They described feelings he had never felt.

When the oracle, a beautiful older woman, awoke from her last trance and drank from the source to purify herself for the next interrogation, his heart began to beat faster.  
She looked at him and apporached him. The surrounding visitors held their breath with excitement. Something in the air seemed to shift.

He opened his mouth to ask his question, but she raised her hand and stopped him. She came one step closer, looked deep into his eyes and put her hand on his chest. She felt his heart beat dully underneath. Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum.

Drawing in the air sharply when suddenly pictures buzzed around in his head.  
Dark, bright. All the colours of the sea and the land. He felt drawn into a whirlpool, like when he almost drowned as a child. The feeling of not getting air overpowered him.  
Sanking to his knees without even noticing to do so.  
Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum.

Green land, wide fields. A young child tries to grab him. It looks anxious.  
He wants to help him or her, but before his hand reached....there is another picture.  
Fire, fire, hot and glowing. Consuming everything. His brother, looking different, but he is his brother, he feels that. 

Pain. Loss and fear overpowered him. So much pain.  
Then, a face fleeting in the crowd. A young woman, he recognizes.  
Wild curls, a smile. Sweet and shy. Following her and still can't reach her.  
Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum.

Then suddenly a dark chamber. A sleeping chamber as it seems to him.  
Intoxicating noises, overwhelming smells, longing. Pain, but different.  
Full of happiness and...lust. And something else flows through him. Something warm. Colourful...life......is that what the poets write about? It is an unknown feeling. It must been Love. Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum.

When he opens his eyes again, he lies bent forward on his knees. Sweat drips from his forehead, his cheeks glow. With a searching look, he searches his surroundings.  
She stands in front of him and for a short moment he believes the shadow of the woman from his dream, to be seen at the end of the room in a white dress. But it is only a curtain of softly flowing white fabric in front of one of the windows of the temple.  
Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum.

The oracle is slowly steping closer. Her soft eyes talk to him. Calm him down.  
She speaks. Gently, but definitely.

"Your brother's questions are not yours.“  
Astonished, he looks at her.  
"You are not responsible for his actions in none of your lives“  
He cannot turn his gaze away from her.

"Your fate is different.“  
Before the young man can even ask one question, she tells him  
"You have to find them."  
"Whom?"  
With a slightly rapturous look, the oracle tells him,  
"the child you have to help and the woman you have to love."  
"But I..." he started astonished.

"No," she interrupted him, "the one you mourn is not your fate, she did not mean it honestly with you. She will not in any of your lives. Evil returns as evil."  
Confusion was written on his face.

"The woman from your view into the future. You are destined for each other. You are soulmates".  
A smile surrounded his face as he thought of the woman from his vision. Even though he had seen her only fleetingly, the thought of her flooded him with warmth.  
Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum.

"The souls come back together, different but always together again and again. Love.  
Souls mate eternal... you will find each other, again. I promise." 

The whole thing buzzed around in his head and he drove his hand over his face. It was too much. Too much and yet too little information. 

"time and time again.“ She said gently and indicated to him to stand up.  
"We will meet again. As a guardian of love I will accompany you and your beloved. But sometimes only as a friend".

"But... what do I do now?" he asked tiredly.  
"Nothing.“ She left him standing there and turned around.

„I will sent them to you." she went to the source and said gently  
„time and time again“.

And he stood there in disbelive.  
Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum.


	2. Beltane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The rhythmic beating of the drums mixed with the deep hump of her heart.  
> Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm no historian, so please forgive my mistakes.

Beltane, a village in the south of Britonia

The rhythmic beating of the drums mixed with the deep thump of her heart.  
Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum.  
The heat of the fire lay on her face and her cheeks glowed, although she was not too close to the fire, she felt the warmth penetrate her body. Finally she was no longer cold.  
Her robe, embroidered for weeks on end for this day, was so thin that she froze also she had her warm undergarment and scarf around her shoulders. Her mother was afraid that she would get sick. It was very cold for this time of year.

Although of course she did not want to get seriously ill, the thought of lying ill in her camp did not come at a bad time. Of course she wouldn't change this fleeting thought into a prayer or wish, she didn't want to anger the gods.

She was just scared. Afraid that a brutal, disgusting old man would ask for her hand. Fear that her father, glad to know a daughter well married, would give her to him. Although she didn't think so of her father, but she didn't know exactly. He was good to his wifes and 18 children, but last winter had been hard. He had to think of the rest of the family and marry the oldest children as long as they were handsome enough.

"Are you hiding?" asked a soft voice behind her, warming her from the inside like the fire in front of her warmed her skin. She turned around and a tall, dark-haired man stepped out of the shade of the trees towards her. As he approached, she saw that he was older than she, but still young. Shyly she looked up at him, not knowing if she could be honest with him. He smiled and a strange feeling tickled inside her.

"I hide too." He replied and also looked into the fire.  
"What of" She asked calmly, although her heart was in turmoil, after all he was a stranger.  
"I wish" he started quietly, "I wouldn't have to take a stranger as my wife". He looked down on her "one I don't know".

He looked at her expectantly. Waiting for her to continue speaking, he really wanted to hear her voice again. After watching her from a distance for a while, he just wanted to get to know her. His heart thumped in his chest. Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum. 

"Yes, I understand what you mean.“ Her voice was warm and calm, although you could also hear the tension.  
"and you're right."  
"With what?“  
"I've been hiding for the very same reason."

She looked up at him smiling and for the first time they both saw each other in the eyes.  
Whether it was the blazing fire, the glowing warmth or the loud rhythmic drumming, but at that very moment they looked into each other's souls. The gods allowed these two souls to come together and connect. Again.

The girl got goose bumps and the young man get cold and then warm running down his back. A heat penetrated them both, pushing everything else into the background. They heard nothing but the blood rushing in their ears and the drumming of their hearts becoming one. Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum.

He released a little wheezing laugh and her cheeks glowed even more as he took her hand. The sensation burned into their skin and up their arms. Spreading out in their chests and abdomen, streaming through both their bodies. It became so hot to them that they let go, frightened and just kept staring at each other.

Suddenly they noticed that it had become very quiet. They looked at the fire and the others, who had just danced wildly around the fire, stood still and looked in their direction.

"What's happening?" she asked anxiously, instinctively reaching for his hand.  
"I don't know." He whispered back and pulled her slightly behind him to protect her with his life if necessary.  
Nothing happened. Nobody moved. Only the crackling of the fire, the rustling of the wind in the trees and the beating of their hearts to the same beat were heard. 

As the old seer slowly approached them, the girl's heart beat up to her neck. Although his warm big hand assured her of her confidence, she was afraid. Pure, all-pervading fear. Had she done anything unseemly, standing here at the edge of the clearing with this beautiful stranger? He stood at her side, big and broad.  
And although he seemed fearless on the outside, she noticed by the slight trembling of his hand that it was exactly the same for him as it was for her.

"You over there!" shouted the old one. "Come out of the shadow!"  
At first they stood still, but the seer, known for her penetrating and omniscient gaze, smiled and told them to come to her.  
"No fear." she called out. 

Slowly they took a few steps until they stood in front of her. His gaze buzzed around as if trying to track down potential danger. But the seer reached for their crossed hands and muttered  
"The gods spoke to me." And all three were forced to close their eyes.

A glare of lightning and a stabbing pain struck the two of them. The feeling of freezing cold flooded them. The feeling of infinite grief and loss soaked their whole being. White and black, grey, oh such a cold grey.  
Then came a feeling of floating or gliding in the water. Dull noises penetrated their ears.  
Warm light. Confidence, the childlike feeling of happiness. Wonderful green and the orange-red of the sun. An indescribable feeling of warmth, glowing golden, earthy brown.  
A roaring like wind, but different, roaring but not threatening, lay around both their hearts. Warm and shimmering. Blue.

"Oh." The old woman moaned and all three of them suddenly stood in front of the fire again, all eyes on them.  
"You are destined. Old souls.“ Whispering the seeress and laid her hands on one of the cheeks of the couple in front of her. Tears glittered in her eyes, yet she tried to smile.

The two were frightened and embarrassed. They didn't know what was happening, yet they couldn't separate their hands.

The girl took no one in but the old woman in front of her and the big, strong man next to her. She didn't notice the looks of the others, nor did she see her father waiting for her on the other side of the grove. She was so confused and the feelings in her went crazy. Warm, cold, excited and euphoric. She was crying and yet she would love to dance around the fire. Wild and impetuous, like the drums that now picked up their rhythm again.

Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum.


	3. Rome

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The young woman felt the looks on her and she was terribly uncomfortable. Her heart was beating wildly in her chest. bum, bum, bumbum. bum, bum, bumbum.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this time we're in early Rome..

Slave market, Rome

The young woman felt the looks on her and she was terribly uncomfortable. Her heart was beating wildly in her chest. bum, bum, bumbum. bum, bum, bumbum.  
The daughter of the Praefectus was seldom on the streets of Rome. It was just too dangerous in these troubled days. That's why her father insisted on finding her a slave in the market today who was strong and loyal. This guy would accompany her at all times of the day and night and protect her with his life.

Tiberius had tried to take one of his men as escort for his somewhat wild daughter. But either they wanted to seduce the girl to become the Praefectus' son-in-law or she had escaped the men at some point and put herself in danger. But not only herself, also the men who were supposed to protect her were in danger of losing her life if they didn't watch out for her or if she ran away from them. The last of her companions was executed by her father after she had disappeared under his care and was only found hours later. His daughter had begged him on her knees to punish her instead, but he had to make an example. Besides, the man was already suffering from a rare disease and it was probably even better that way.  
bum, bum, bumbum. bum, bum, bumbum.

The young woman tried to hide under her veil, she felt vulnerable and at the mercy of all looks. Her father walked a few meters in front of her and his best men accompanied her through the narrow streets. She had such a strange feeling, her stomach whirled around excitedly. Even her maid, the old wise soul, had said strange things to her today. And she usually never spoke.

"You will find him."  
bum, bum, bumbum. bum, bum, bumbum.

Her father suddenly turned to her abruptly, and ordered her to lower her gaze to the floor in a ladylike manner, as it was possible that the men and women in the market were undressed. Her cheeks blushed at the thought and several men of the escort laughed. She then followed her father into a small alley and into a low entrance. Through narrow corridors they then passed through various rooms. Filled with people of all ages. Tears of shame and anger glittered in her eyes, she could not bear to see people suffering. But she was not allowed to do more than give food to the children of the streets.

Her heart beat wilder and wilder as they progressed through the labyrinthine catacombs. Fear crept up her neck. Restlessness seized her. More and more often she looked for a way out. But the feeling in her stomach told her to wait. bum, bum, bumbum. bum, bum, bumbum.

Moaning noises penetrated her ear. Clapping and slapping. She knew these noises. It was a fight. Of course, Father wanted a fighter for her. Someone who could use fists and knives to protect her. Young enough to keep up with her. Old enough to take responsibility. Stupid as she was, she hoped there'd be someone she could talk to, someone kind. But of course, that was naive. After all, he was a slave who was forced to serve her father. So the danger of revenge or ambush was always there. Now finally they entered the place outside. The sun burned into their faces and blinded them, she put her hand over her eyes until they got used to the brightness. A massive thumping was hammering in her chest.  
bum, bum, bumbum. bum, bum, bumbum.

When she opened her eyes slowly she saw him. Big and broad. The sun behind him made his naked upper body, covered in sweat, shine golden. It looked like one of the armor of her father and his men. But he was not wearing an armour. She couldn't see his face at first, but already her heart was beating ever more fiercely. bum, bum, bumbum. bum, bum, bumbum.

Her father indicated to him to come closer. She stared over his shoulder at the man and had to take a deep breath. He was beautiful. Despite the fact that his eyebrows were narrowed and his expression was rather grumpy. No wonder, considering what he was. But as so often in life, they were all proven wrong. He was no mere slave. He was a Roman. A young soldier in the legion.

"Then what are you doing here?" asked her father in his loud, fearful voice.  
"My brother had debts," he explained, and his voice warmed her heart.  
"So it wasn't him, but you who took his punishment."  
"Yes, master." He proudly tucked his chin forward and waited.  
"Your brother sold you out?"  
"that is not how I see it, master."

She sucked in the air, her father didn't like it when people contradicted him. The fighter tried not to look at the young woman behind the praefectus. He had only noticed a little bit of her when she entered the unworthy ground and was so distracted that he had received an unexpected blow from his comrade. 

"Then tell me." her father ordered.  
"My brother has a family, a wife and twelve children. He has no fighting experience. I could not..."  
"Enough!" Tiberius shouted at the young man before him. 

Clenching his teeth he fell silent and waited for what would happen now. He had no idea, only that the urge to look at the woman became almost unbearable. bum, bum, bumbum. bum, bum, bumbum. It was dangerous looking at a gentleman's wife, though. She was probably his wife. Poor thing, the master before him was more than twice her age.

"What a happy coincidence then." her father explained as if that said it all.  
"Master?" asked the young warrior, and then her father dragged her forward.  
"This is my daughter." a breath of relief escaped him. He lowered his eyes as he bowed.  
"She needs a guard who is loyal and strong and will never, I insist, never let her out of his sight." he cried vehemently.  
The young fellow nodded and raised his eyes to his new master. His heart was beating wildly in his chest. bum, bum, bumbum. bum, bum, bumbum.

Slightly disappointed that he didn't look at her, she lowered her eyes ladylike, she had hoped to see kindness and maybe something like gratitude in his eyes, after all he didn't have to fight for his life anymore. Her heart was still beating wildly in her chest, but she didn't raise her eyes anymore until her father dragged her forward and offered her the young man as a gift. Their eyes met. A whole new, strange feeling washed over her and her heart beat even wilder than before. bum, bum, bumbum. bum, bum, bumbum. 

"Do you want him?" her father asked and she tried to recognize something in the stranger's gaze. She sank into the eyes that reminded her of burning wood. Dark, dangerous and yet with a silent glow. They smiled. The eyes smiled and soothed her. And she agreed in a calm, strong voice.

Later on, the man, who mainly avoided her gaze, moved into the chamber next to her bedroom, where her old maid had always slept before. When the old maid vacated her place, she stopped for a moment, looked at the young man. He greeted the old woman briefly, but before he could walk past her, she said

"Don't take too long. It's getting late."  
"For what?"  
"Just come." she ordered and after a few moments he hurried out of the chamber and looked around the room. His young mistress, sitting on her bed, bit her lower lip. She nibbled at her sun-yellow robe and seemed very uncomfortable and full of concern he asked what had happened.

"You may not look at her, but you must stay here," the old woman explained.  
"I don't understand..."

With a movement of her head she pointed to the bath, which was prepared for the young lady in an adjacent square basin. It was separated from the actual room with white cloths. His mouth suddenly became dry. He did not dare to look at his mistress again, instead he moved through the room, looked into every nook and cranny to get an overview. The old servant poured another intoxicatingly fragrant oil into the steaming bath and indicated to her protégé to come closer.

Their eyes met. Her big dark eyes pierced his. Her breath was quick. His heart was pounding deep in his chest and vibrating all over his body. bum, bum, bumbum. bum, bum, bumbum. Only when the old one clicked her tongue could he turn his gaze away from the beauty in front of him. He looked briefly at the old woman who was smiling and indicated to him to wait behind the curtain.

The curtain blowing by the wind did not let him rest. Again and again he caught a glimpse. First the well-formed bare shoulders, then the long dark curls that covered her back completely and also her seemingly well-formed bottom. Her shapely legs then slowly stepped into the still steaming bath, and a pleasant sound let him know that she was now lying in the water.

To gather himself, he closed his eyes briefly and turned around, why he hadn't done this before, he couldn't explain himself. It was as if he was under a magical spell. bum, bum, bumbum. bum, bum, bumbum.

When he opened his eyes again, the old one stood in front of him with a knowing smile on her lips. She nodded and put her rough hand on his cheek. Suddenly images flooded through him and he heard his mistress moaning softly.

The images that seized her mind were frightening. Fire and heat spread, it seemed as if her skin was burning. She ran through the dark fog and could hardly breathe. She reached for something, but couldn't find a hold. She kept slipping. And suddenly the darkness was so all-consuming.  
Then a flickering light, like from a small fire. A pleasant pain. A feeling of incomprehensible joy pervaded her. It shook and vibrated deep inside her. Her skin glowed, burning from inside, but it was good. It was wonderful. It tickling and pulling, pressing and washing over her like the warm water she lay in. She couldn't breathe, but it wasn't scary, it was so much better than happiness. Her breath was heavy, she writhed and her hand searched for hold.  
A strong hand reached out for her, she opened her eyes at the sensation of rough skin on her and she stared into the deep brown eyes of her guard. 

bum, bum, bumbum. bum, bum, bumbum.


	4. Galicien

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This time a young healer must help her young Lord. Not only to heal his outer wounds, but also his inner ones.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea if this is historically correct, but I thought it was a nice idea.
> 
> Stay safe!

a small shire in a village in Galicien

"My lord," cried the servant, and dragged the young woman behind him, before he hurled her to his master's feet in such a way that she landed on her knees and a frightened sound could not suppress her. Her heart was pounding in her chest. bum, bum, bumbum. bum, bum, bumbum.

"Who is she?" cried the noble gentleman, whom she did not dare to look at.  
"She is the village healer for your son!"  
"My son?" he laughed sarcastically, "everyone can see it's not my son!"  
Silence spread through the room. All he could hear was the rush of blood in his ears.  
bum, bum, bumbum. bum, bum, bumbum.

The young woman lowered her head and did not move, fearing that she might get the anger of the master. She had heard only good things from him, but since his wife had died in childbirth, he was no longer himself. Even though it was rumored that it was not a marriage of love, her death seemed to have hit him hard. However, the healer slowly got the feeling that this was not the reason for his displeasure.

"My son!" cried a warm voice and the mother of the Lord came slowly out of the shadows.  
"You have been deceived, but it's not the boy's fault."

She gave her son a sign and he came closer, reached out his hand to the young woman and pulled her to her feet. The two looked at each other and the healer felt that she knew those eyes. Dark and burning inside. Not only from the short encounters one had with the patriarch of the village, but somehow longer. Her heart was beating stronger again, and she lowered her eyes. bum, bum, bumbum. bum, bum, bumbum.

"Come here, girl,“ the Lady said "let me show you my grandson."

An ironic laugh escaped the young gentleman and he lowered the gaze of his black eyes into the dark doe eyes of the young woman. She froze for a moment and her eyebrows contracted as he looked at her angrily as if she could do anything about it. Inside she became cold, but an irritating little point in her core also began to warm up. 

When the two women came into the little boy's secluded room, the tension of the younger one was released. She dared to ask what was wrong with the young child.

"The loss of his mother, I think," the older one remarked dryly.  
"Yes, of course it takes time," it had been four months now, "but besides that?"  
"Oh, my child." the lady moaned, "I think he's inherited both his parents' looks and morbidity."

The young woman, biting her lips, she had heard the rumors. That young Vizconde's wife had become pregnant at a time when he had been on the battlefield. Only his ill-tempered brother was stupid and careless enough to take advantage of it. 

When the young healer bent over the bed, she saw the proof of the fraud. Not only did she see the unmistakable graceful beauty of his mother in him, but the watery eyes and translucent skin of his father literally jumped out of him. Suddenly, compassion flooded through her, not only for the weak child, but also for the horned husband.

"He had once loved her... ...before they were married," his mother began to explain.  
"...but that changed when he saw her true face."  
Her gaze wandered into the distance and tears glittered in her eyes,

"I worry that my son will never be able to trust a woman... or his brother again."

"understandable."

murmured the healer who had lifted the child out of its crib and cradled it in her arms. She saw the patriarch's slightly enraptured look resting on her, as if she had only just realized that she had said it to her and not only to herself.

"But it won't be forever." the older said and touched the young womans arm briefly. 

"Anyway, this little fellow, the only heir yet, must become healthy and robust," she said in a cold tone, which was strangely warm yet not at all impertinent,  
"you have to make sure he gets well."  
"Of course, my Lady, I will come by every day and..."  
"No!" cried the elder, "your chamber is ready, you will live here until his nurse and you bring him back to health."  
"But, I..."  
"I know you still have to check on the others in the village. I think there's plenty of time for that."  
The healer nodded modestly, who was she to contradict her Lady.

Through the good care of the nurse and herself, the weak little guy became a healthy, fun-loving guy. His grandmother played with him as far as her duties allowed, his uncle, who was his father to everyone in the village and beyond, did not. He avoided any contact with him and every time she went with the child into a room or into the garden, where he happened to be, he left her without another word.

But when she was without the child, he lingered and even talked to her. Asked about the whereabouts of the villagers she cared for and her daily routine.  
He made her nervous and her heart was beating so wildly around him that it didn't take long for her to realize that she was in love with him. 

But as soon as she mentioned the child, his face hardened and he sent her away. Then she often found him drunk at night when she couldn't sleep and was looking for a book in the library. His looks and body language awakened the woman in her and often he even came close enough to her that they almost touched. Their eyes then became locked and her lips began to tingle. But before she could close her eyes, he had already gone. Then she cried secretly in her chamber at night.

It became so unbearable for him to have this woman near him that he tried to drink more and avoid any interaction with her. His desire for the warmth of her grew everytime he saw or even feel her. He didn't want to feel anything. Not for the child. Not for this woman, but he couldn't help thinking about her. Night and day. His heart always jumped almost out of his chest, when he saw her with the child on her arm. bum, bum, bumbum. bum, bum, bumbum.

This night was dark and the cool rainy wind blew the trees in front of her window back and forth. She had been restless all day, she knew something would happen. Something with the young master, she had dreamed about every night, since she lived in the castle. But the restlessness today and a pinching feeling in her core made her heart beat wildly. bum, bum, bumbum. bum, bum, bumbum.

She usually avoided meeting him during her daily visits in that part of the castle. When she visited the sick, motherless child to relieve his actually no longer present disease. But she didn't want to move out and leave him again. She just loved the two too much already.

Today she had seen him. He had been training in the big hall. His sword was hurled quickly in all directions, cutting through the air with a hissing sound. Broad shoulders and the muscles that danced under his tanned skin with every movement. The sweat let his naked torso glimmer in the afternoon sun. He was beautiful despite the countless scars. She had remained spellbound under the archway and could not take her eyes off him. 

Now the door to her chamber was ripped open and destroyed her memory. One of the servants rushed in with loud shouts. Even before she knew what had happened she ran off to follow him. She knew that something must have happened to him. Her heart was beating wildly in her chest. bum, bum, bumbum. bum, bum, bumbum.

The whole household was awake and ran excitedly through the corridors. Everyone looked at her expectantly and when she was led into the masters bedchamber, his mother at his bed looked down at him in despair. He was pale and in pain. The sight of him took her breath away. bum, bum, bumbum. bum, bum, bumbum.

Darkness surrounded him. Only the noise in his head reminded him that he was still alive. 

He hated himself for not being able to love the innocent child, but the pain of deception was still so deep. Not necessarily his wife's, he knew she had cheated on him when he was at the battlefield. The betrayal and loss of trust to his brother hurt all the more. He never wanted to get involved with him again. 

But today he had appeared and wanted to take his illegitimate son away with him, but he really could not do that to the child. His irresponsible brother would sell him to pay off some debts. He had to learn to love the boy. Just as he had learned to love the healer.  
Suddenly, his heart began to pound. bum, bum, bumbum. bum, bum, bum, bumbum.

During his training in this afternoon, he had felt her before he perceived the scent of jasmine. She released a heat in him that no one had ever released before. He had mistakenly trusted that if he ignored her, the desire would disappear. But it only got worse and worse. His desire to be close to her was so strong that he turned to her jerkily and he caught her staring at him. She gasped loudly and blushed so magnificently that this feeling of wanting to be close to her took over and he was in front of her in a heartbeat. bum, bum, bumbum. bum, bum, bumbum.

Only the entry of his brother prevented him from reaching for her.

Now she was there again. He could sense her again. Her body, leaning over him. Her cool fingers on his forehead and her soft voice asked what had happened, he wanted to answer but no sound came out. His mother's voice was worried and told her, that he had fought with his brother, who claimed the boy for himself. Shortly afterwards he felt the blanket being lifted and she drew in her breath hissing. She was giving instructions and shortly after that he felt the rough cloth, that seemed to clean his wound. 

It had not been deep, yet she had not been able to breathe properly because she was worried about him, he could hear it in her voice and feel it in her touch. As her delicate fingers touched his face he drew in the air sharply. The love that burned in him, hit him once again. bum, bum, bumbum. bum, bum, bumbum

Later he opened his eyes and saw the empty chair next to his bed. The disappointment flooded through him and he turned his head the other side. She stood by the washbowl and cleaned her bloodstained towels.

Her heart begann racing again, as she felt him awake, she froze briefly and then slowly came to his camp. When the wound had stopped bleeding and his fever dropped and he had slipped into a peaceful sleep, he had whispered her name and the heat in her core had sloshed over her whole body. He felt something for her, too. And it was such a beautiful feeling.

Instead of bending over him, she sank to her knees beside his bed. Her face floated in front of his and he could see real concern and tears glistening in her eyes as she stroked his hair. She closed her eyes at the unseemly gesture and tried to take her hand away again, but he touched her cheek in this moment and kept her eyes on him. 

"Why don't you let your brother take his son?" she asked him carefully.

She pulled her face briefly, she was so worried about him, and now her first words were the memory of his grief. He strengthened the grip on her face and pulled her towards him.

"Because he is officially my son..."  
"Yes, but..." she began, reminding him of his coldness towards the child.  
"I know..." his words a whisper in the dark room, "I wasn't a good father to him, but..."  
He turned even closer to her and pushed his hand into her neck.

"I'm trying to do better," he cleared his throat, "...maybe you can help me."  
"When you give him your heart, he will love you back." she whispered and her words tickled his lips. Her smile was enchanting.

"So, you love me back?" he breathed and smiled as well.

And when the unspoken words sank into her heart, she leaned forward and their lips and hearts melted. bum, bum, bumbum. bum, bum, bumbum.


	5. France, October 1307

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This time we are in 1307 and the soulmates met in France and have a difficult decision to make...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not quite four months ago, but now also for this little story an update.  
> Hope you like it.

His heart beat wildly in his chest. Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum. 

Why he had fled to exactly this part of the town was not quite clear to him, perhaps because he still remembered that there were many small alleys and dark corners here. Or maybe because he had always loved to be here. Here lived the "simple" people, who were much more dear to him than the lords and magistrates he usually had to deal with. Or maybe it was because he wanted to feel close to her once more before he disappeared from this place forever. Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum.

While he found a small alley to take a short break, the memories of their encounters flooded his mind. Her smile in the sea of people when he and his brotherhood came through this part of the town for the first time with waving flags and fanfares. Their gazes had interlocked so tightly that he had to turn around on his horse in order not to lose it. And his heart had been beating wildly at that moment when he saw the blush rise to her cheeks. Bum, bum, bumbum. Bum, bum, bumbum. 

Again and again he had come here, as often and for as long as he could, always finding a reason to buy something from her at the market. At first he had thought that she was the tanner's daughter, but it turned out that the brutal man was her husband, whom she had certainly not married on free will. The guy had a bad reputation, and after he saw him grab her hard by the arm because she had dropped something, he was too afraid for her to put her in any further danger. For it had been his fault, he had looked at her and made a compliment to her.

The young knight briefly closed his eyes and remembered the tender skin of her hand as he gave her the money and tried to ask with his gaze whether she was alright. It seemed to him as if they were talking without words, and he didn't even know her name.

Then he shook off every thought of her to avoid being disturbed, he had to get rid of his uniform and flee. Otherwise he would die, in the fire that was slowly eating its way through the city and would certainly be blamed on them, although the Pope's messengers had done it themselves to collect them and to smoke out the city. To destroy his brotherhood. And him.

As the horses' hooves grew louder and louder, he urged deeper into the alley and ran around the next corner. And around the next one, away from the main street. The sweat made his shirt stick to his body, his armour lay heavy over it. He needed a hiding place to rip it off his body. When he heard footsteps behind him, he ran on. Damn, it was a dead end! Behind him the footsteps echoed he heard doors opening, voices murmuring. There was no time to think and when he spotted a door in front of him in the dim light of nightfall, he broke it open without further ado and closed it quietly creaking as soon as he entered. Exhausted, he dropped his head against it before looking around the dimly lit room.

Bum, bum, bumbum. Bum, bum, bumbum.

A frightened sound made him jump around and there she stood. The girl. She had an object in her hand, its head stuck with sharp thorns, and she was trembling. To calm her down, he raised his hands and assured her quietly.

"I won't hurt you."

Her breath was quick, but she seemed to relax. 

"Come out of the shadows," she commanded and although he could hear her fear and insecurity, he did what she wanted. She gasped for breath, but relaxed even more. 

"It's you."

"It's me."

It was supposed to be a question, but it came out like a confirmation. But before he could ask whether she had thought of him as much as he had thought of her, she came closer and took his hand. She pulled him to the back of the room, knelt on the floor and ripped up a door recessed in the floor.

"Hurry up!" She urged, and after a quick glance into the dark cave, a small hole in the ground to store supplies, he began to get rid of his uniform.

Meanwhile she cleared out the supplies and put in his clothes, which he had already taken off. She got up, got a sack and stuffed some of the supplies into it, ran to a small trunk and took something out and stuffed it into the sack as well. He was now dressed in civilian clothes and their eyes were caught again when they heard voices coming closer in the alley.

"Come here!" she shouted quietly, threw the bag into the hole and pulled a camp over the floor door. She tugged at his arm. 

"Lie down."

And without another word, she pulled her coarse linen robe over her head and sat astride him. The young knight froze, but he couldn't stop himself from pulling her into his arms as she sat on him like that. Their eyes melted into each other.

At the next moment the door was ripped open and she screamed out and pulled the blanket over her body, which was only covered with an underdress. The envoys of the Pope froze and turned, one slower than the other, and lowered their gaze.

"Oh, forgive us."  
Another shouted, "We are looking for a knight!"

A shiver seized the young woman as the man beneath her cried out in a dark voice   
"If he passes, I'll kill him with my sword!"

Her eyes stared at him. The fear and disbelief that he confessed to his enemies that he had a sword made her tremble all over. But apparently, it was a joke that only men understood, because the intruders laughed and left them with the words 

"Forgive tanner, go on!"

He drew her back to him as if they were truly married and in the fulfilment of their marital duties. And as she denied herself to her husband since she had first seen the knight, it seemed to her that it was the fulfilment of her secret dreams. Her hands fell on his chest. She felt his heart pounding wildly, in harmony with hers. Bum, bum, bumbum. Bum, bum, bumbum.

Their eyes were deep and their breath quick when they finally heard the door close. Although his grip on her neck grew stronger, he sat up and slowly pushed her down from him. 

"Thank you."

The word burned in his throat and the thought of leaving her burned in his heart. But he had to flee.

She nodded in silent agreement and a single tear rolled down her cheek. Taking a man's wife was stealing, but he was also an outlawed knight whose knighthood was accused of witchcraft. They had no chance.

In the knowledge that her death was certain now, she closed her eyes. If her husband found the armour, he would accuse her of adultery anyway and beat her half to death before he would pillory her in the market place, where the villagers and the crows would do the rest.

Wordlessly he had pushed the camp aside and fetched the bag from the hiding place, but she tore it from his hand and pulled out her clothes she had previously stuffed into it.

"You must go." She whispered with a heavy heart and their eyes met one last time. 

His gaze became intense. "Believe me, if there were another way..."

"I understand."

How he would have loved to take her in his arms, kissed her and promised to come back to get her. But he could not.

Hope was cruel.

She could not watch him leave and turned to the fire of the small fireplace. When she heard the door slam shut, she gave in for a moment of weakness and let her tears flow freely before she put her rough robe back on, got down on her knees and prayed.

When she heard the noises in the alley, heard the footsteps and screams of her neighbours, she begged for the grace of God that the knight whose name she had not even once heard could flee and would find happiness one day. She laid her hand on her heart and remembered the rhythm of his heart.

Bum, bum, bumbum. Bum, bum, bumbum.

But with the certainty of never seeing him again and the prospect of dying soon, a new strength grew in her. She could at least try. Pulling herself together, she quickly packed another bag with the rest of the supplies and did not forget the leather bag in which she hid money from her husband so that he wouldn't drink all the money they had earned. She put a blanket around her shoulders and laid a burning stick of the small fire on the night camp where she had felt happy for a brief moment with the stranger in her arms. She shook off this thought and ran out into the burning hell of her town.

It seemed as if all the people of the town were heading in one direction and the young woman let herself be carried away with the wave of the fleeing. She immediately noticed that a tall, handsome man seemed to be the only one swimming against the current. He had come back.

The young knight immediately recognised her face among the hundreds of people who came towards him and their eyes were lost in each other and did not leave until he reached her. Questioningly and full of hope, she looked at him, but inwardly she prepared herself for another goodbye.

"I cannot go without you." He said, took her hand and laid it on his firm chest.

Bum, bum, bumbum. Bum, bum, bumbum.


	6. Algarve, Reino de Portugal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This time the two meet under dramatic circumstances.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy!

A cold grey surrounded her and her skin ached as if from a thousand small sharp needle stitches. Everything turned in a whirlpool of painful grey. Her lungs burned. Her heart pounded wildly in her chest. Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum.

She didn't know which way was up or down. Further and further she was tossed around. There was nothing she could do but surrender to her fate. Maybe it was better that way. Better than a life that others had planned for her. She was so sick of it. 

Opening her mouth, she let in the salty water.

The pain in her chest was so intense that she suddenly knew she was still alive. Slowly the noise in her head subsided. She heard men shouting. Something warm lay against her cheek. Someone spoke encouragingly and softly at her. Oh. That voice continued to vibrate inside her. It gently touched her heart, like a light wind brushing the leaves on the tree in her garden. Oh how she longed for home. That voice. Warm. Soothing. It wrapped around her like a warming blanket. She felt heavy. Sinking. Yes, she wanted to sleep.

"No!" cried the voice next to her and someone gently slapped her on the cheek. 

Not hard. Warm. Oh. Like the voice. Again the sleep seemed to pull her away. Deeper. Deeper. 

"No, you stay with me!" the voice roared.

Angry. Sublime. Dominant. She would no longer let anyone tell her what to do! Instead of answering, she turned her head. And everything was spinning. 

Grey.

Painful grey surrounded her. Images flooded her mind. The huge wave that came towards them. Everyone screamed. How the ship was lifted up and hurled down. How she and all the others slid across the floor, desperately trying to hold on to something.

The pole that broke like a thin stick. That had killed her companions without them having had a change. Blood everywhere. Everyone was dead!

Suddenly she sat up. And if the warm hand hadn't held her, she would have tipped forward. Everything was spinning and her body still had the feeling of being whirled around by waves. She collapsed. A strong arm slid under her shoulders.

"Look at me, look at me!" this voice commanded. 

This voice tugging at the strings of her heart.

Again, warm fingers lay against her cheek. Suddenly she was aware that a man was holding her. A slight panic seized her and she began to wriggle. 

"Calm down. All is fine. You're safe."

This voice soothed her and began to play a light melody on the instrument inside her.   
Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum.

The grey crept in her mind again and tugged at her to drag her back into the darkness. The hand of her young chambermaid, which held hers tight when the ship broke into pieces. They clung together. But then she was alone. Oh Lord in heaven! She was just so young, almost still a child! She had to find her!

She opened her eyes. 

Blue. 

Such a bright and penetrating blue. It shone above her. It made her smile. Then a face appeared in her field of vision. She gasped for breath. No man had ever been so close to her. And yet she wanted him never to disappear from her sight again.   
Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum.

What a strange thought.

"How do you feel?" asked this melodic voice.  
"I don't know,” she croaked. 

The face smiled the most stunning smile she had ever seen. Honest. Warm. The eyes radiated a sense of joy.

"Here."

He offered her something to drink in a wooden cup. It burned so intensely in her mouth that she coughed so hard that she trembled all over.

"Careful..." he smiled encouragingly.

She nodded and now took a smaller sip. It was wine. Good wine. She wondered how a fisherman could get such good wine. Was he a fisherman at all? 

She squeezed her eyes shut. It didn't matter.

"Are you in pain?"

She shook her head and looked him in the face. In to this beautiful face.

"Where are the others?"

Her voice was rough and something happened to him. In his face. She suspected something bad. Her heart was pounding. No, no, don't tell me! She begged in her thoughts.

"We came as fast as we could."

That was no answer. She looked at him and he avoided her gaze.

"Where are the others?" She asked again but it was more of a whisper.

"So far, we've only found you."

A sob escaped her and she pressed her hand over her mouth.

"But we'll keep searching," he affirmed, carefully placing his warm hand with these long fingers against her cheek again and slowly the painful words and his warmth penetrated her skin.

Only when this stranger took her in his arms and gently swayed her back and forth did she notice that she was crying. Respectfully he stroked her hair. He pressed her face against his chest. The rhythm of his heart. Soothed her. Dried her tears. Gave her strength.  
Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum.

Suddenly she was aware with complete clarity of what she was doing. She allowed a stranger to hold her! What a scandal that would be. A shock for her parents! Oh no, the whole village. The principality would hear about it and they would have to send her away. At that thought she had to smile for a moment. Before she suddenly realised that they already had. At least that's how it seemed to her when they had planned this journey and, what weighed much more heavily, arranged a marriage for her.

Sighing, she straightened up. Leaned blushing away from her rescuer, who fortunately understood immediately and moved away from her.

"Forgive me."

He begged and she would have loved to throw herself back into his arms. He had given her safety. She felt the heat in her cheeks at the thought. Her heart was pounding.   
Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum.

Embarrassed by these unseemly thoughts, she tried to stand up. She swayed, but his hand gave her support. He pulled her up and he was so big and broad that she thought he could have stopped the wave. Again the horrible memories filled her mind.

Then another man called and her rescuer let his eyes wander into the distance. She followed his gaze. The man ran towards them and carried a bundle. She clawed her fingers into this man's arm next to her as she recognised what the other was carrying. And after a moment of swaying, she ran off on wobbly legs.

She did not really make progress. Her still wet dress twisted with every step and her lungs hurt. But she had to see if the girl was all right. 

"So you know her!" cried the man with his wrinkled forehead, kneeled down and laid her maid in her arms.

The girl's gaze wandered around unfocused until she recognised her, but was too exhausted to say anything. They took each other in their arms and cried. They looked more like friends than like lady and maid.

But here nobody cared. They did not know. The men left the two women alone, and the rescuer of the younger one went over to his master.

"Who do you think they are, my Lord?"  
"Judging by their clothes... maids, I'd say."  
"Do you think they accompanied your fiancée?"

The tall man clenched his jaw. Of course he did not want his fiancée to be among the victims. But since he had no feelings for her whatsoever, didn't even know her, had never seen her or exchanged letters... he did care. Of course he did. But he... he had no feelings at all. The bad thing was, his father would find a new alliance for him after a reasonable period of time, which he had to make to protect the country against its enemies. A politically correct marriage. That was the fate of the aristocracy. Marriage without affection. Without love.

One could only hope to get a nice partner who showed at least a certain amount of friendly interest. One could not expect more. So it stung a little bit in his chest to see the two young women in a deep embrace. Friendship. Yes, he had friends too, but he could never be sure whether they really liked him or only his title. His power.

He had asked for a short break before his marriage and had been travelling incognito for a fortnight, with his four closest friends, on the coast. They had the ship that would bring his promised wife to him, seen from the cliffs, still far out at sea. When they had decided to slowly start their way back home the next morning, a violent thunderstorm had hit them. The ship, which had come even closer to the coast, was hit by heavy waves and was thrown around like a toy. That anyone had survived at all was a miracle.

He had sent one of his men to the nearest village, which was three days' ride away. He sent the fastest of his men back to the castle to get help. But so far they had only found the two women.

His gaze pierced the back of the beautiful girl, with her dark hair and big eyes. And as if she could feel him, she turned around and smiled happily at him. His heart rose and seemed to fly away. Than it hammered in his chest. Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum. 

With a guilty conscience he noticed that her cheeks blushed even more deeply and how she lowered her gaze with grace. And although he knew that they could have no future together, he smiled. Maybe it was destiny to meet love once, as his old nurse had told him so many times before. He had always hoped he would meet her and prayed it would be the woman he would have to marry. 

But fate was cruel. Just like the sea.

From the wreckage washed ashore and their own tents, the men built a small shelter for the two ladies so that they could recover and inspect each other for injuries.

"Please don't tell the men who I am," the young lady begged her maid.   
"Until help comes, I want to be treated as normally as possible and who knows if these men would then kidnap me and blackmail my father."

"But your parents must know you're alive."  
"They will." She nodded and her maid understood her lady's concern, of course.

She also understood that her lady wanted to be treated as a normal person. If she would be treated nice and see how men behaved towards her, when they did not know who she was. The maid had already seen interest in the eyes of the young handsome gentleman, who despite his dirty clothes and scruffy beard had something aristocratic about him.

Later they sat around the fire and had to be questioned about their journey. The young lady spoke little, but her enchanting smile embraced everyone, and it did not last a moment longer than the length of the small meal, when everyone present felt that the young gentleman had already lost his heart.

And the same happened to the young lady. Both suffered in silence, knowing that they could never be together.

Already on the second day, helpers from the village arrived, which took the women with them and the young gentleman was forced to return to the castle. He was to mourn his fiancée, whom he never knew, and his heart longed for the girl he had saved from the sea.

All the more surprising was the sensational news that his fiancée had survived the accident as well. One month after the original date, the wedding took place. The young prince would not see his bride until the day of the wedding, he would meet her in front of the church and then they would get married. 

Perhaps they would say a word or two before sharing a bed, he thought sarcastically, thinking of the young woman from the beach. 

Stiff as a stick, he stood there and waited for her carriage. He stared straight ahead but couldn't see anything. Three of his closest friends were standing near enough to grasp the situation earlier than he did. They tried to give him a sign, but only at the last moment did he realise who was standing in front of him.

Just as unwilling to be here as he was, his bride stood before him and curtsied deep, her head bowed, as she was expected to do. And the practiced ritual demanded of him to reach out his hand and help her up. At the touch a burning sensation ran through his arm, although they were both wearing gloves.

Astonished and full of expectation, he looked down, because as soon as she straightened up, they were allowed to look at each other for the first time. Although a thick veil covered her face, he recognised her immediately. And so did she.

The tears tickled their eyes. They could not keep their eyes off each other. They whispered their marriage vows in awe and felt dizzy at the amazing happiness they had been granted. 

During the celebrations, words gushed out of them with excitement. Sometimes they both spoke at the same time. They couldn't wait to be alone at last and when they were finally in their private rooms, they sank into each other's arms and their hearts beat in unison.

Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum.


	7. The province of Angers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This time the two Soulmates are friends since childhood and an older friend watches them grow up.
> 
> But when they want to marry, something unforeseen happens....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all again for the lovely comments for the last chapter.
> 
> Hope you also like this, even when it's a bit different....

The province of Angers, ca 1633

The woman watched the two young children, as they put a hand to each other's cheeks and looked deep into the eyes of the other and grinned inwardly. They had always been together. Not only were they friends since they could walk in this life, she had the feeling that they were old souls. 

She would like to read their palms, but she could only do that in secret, because the priest was watching. A tear ran down the woman's cheek, many women like her had died, only because they knew about the herbs in the forest and could read the lines on the palms. Also the mother of this lovely girl was among the victims but the girl was still alive. 

And not for the first time.

The woman wondered how often these two had come together in different lives, if there were lives where they did not fell in love and end up together? Or was it fate that they met in any case and fell in love with each other? Was it always like in this life that they had stuck together since they could walk, as if they were sewn together at the hip? Never further apart than a few steps.

And because she liked them both very much she kept an eye on them growing up.

The lovely girl became a beautiful but rather wild young woman, and her friend a tall and handsome young men, protective of her like a wild warrior of long forgotten legends.

Since then she had been watching them more precisely. They were now almost of marriageable age and she expected them to ask their fathers for permission at any moment. 

It was quite obvious that they loved each other. Since ever. So why wait?

One day, the girl was more beautiful than ever before, as she was washed and had put on a clean gown, the boy could no longer hide his affection for her. His heart was beating violently in his chest as she smiled at him. Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum.

They both disappeared one after the other unseen by anyone else into the forest.

The woman was sure that he had asked for her hand, because they came back to the village with blushed cheeks and happy smiles. Reluctantly they separated as her father called for her smiling knowingly what had happened.

The whole village was looking forward to their marriage.

But it should not come to that.

Somewhere in the great empire they lived in, a war had broken out and all the young, strong men became part of the army. They came and took also the handsome young man, who was just doing his work in the fields. He didn't even have time to say goodbye to his girl. He could only shout to her from afar.

"I'll come back!"

But he never did.

And the girl stood there every day and stared in the direction the cart had disappeared. Every day waiting for him to come back, sure that she would see him again. 

It took months for her to find her smile again. As before, she looked after her many brothers and sisters and the other children of the village. 

To keep her memories of him alive, she also went into the forest every day, where the older woman once followed her in concern. The younger woman then sat on a fallen tree trunk in front of a cave and stared into the distance. Apparently she remembered beautiful and tender moments, because she smiled and blushed slightly while touching her lips.

Convinced that he would come back to her one day, she tried to look happily into the future. 

But then came the news that he was missing since months. Probably he was even dead.

The shocked face of the lovely girl almost broke the older woman's heart. The young woman ran crying into the forest, to their cave and sat there for a long time. The older tried to comfort her and was a good friend. 

The younger one came back to the cave the next day. She blocked the entrance with heavy stones, rubble and big branches. Nevertheless, the girl held on to the fact that they had not received any news that he had really died. Her heart still felt he was alive. Somewhere. 

Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum.

She never went back into the forest, never danced with anyone at the annual festivals that followed and never took a hand other men offered her.

Never did she stop saying he would come back to her, but he didn’t.

Lost in her longing, the sparkle of her eyes faded, the smile no longer reached her eyes. She lost weight and in the cold winter that followed she became so ill that her father asked the older woman for advice. He was afraid she would die.

And since the younger one took such good care of others and desperately needed a task that was important enough to distract her from thoughts of him and her heartbreak, the older one suggested becoming a nurse. 

"But I can't forget him!" she shouted, suddenly sitting up strong enough.

"You shouldn't," said her old friend, "you'll keep him in your heart forever, but you can also lead your own life."

The young woman nodded and as soon as spring had come she went to the next monastery. She became one of the merciful sisters who were trained to care for the sick. There she found her purpose.

Happiness was not for her, but she helped others to find it. By nursing the sick to health, holding the hand of the dying and helping mothers to give birth to their children.   
She was satisfied to help them, cried when dear sick people died, but also out of happy feelings when those who had recovered were happily embraced by their families. 

Watching couples falling into each other's arms, fathers embracing their new-borns, young mothers shining for happiness and love for their children touched and stabbed her heart   
deeply.

The loss of the one person with whom she would have experienced all this was forever a piece of her soul. She pressed her hand onto her heart and remembered his heartbeat.   
Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum.

Her heart could never forget him. Oh how her heart still yearned for him! After all this years, how heavy it still beat in her chest as soon as she thought of him.   
Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum.

How much she wished to see him only one more time, to tell him how she felt. She knew he knew that she had felt the same, even though she had never said it and they had never lived out their love. He had only kissed her once, the day he had asked her to be his wife. It had been the last day they were together. And she remembered his scent while he embraced her with his strong arms, and she had pressed her face against his chest. 

Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum

So the years passed bye like the seasons.

And the sweetness of the girl, which had matured into her wild beauty when she became a woman, settled firmly into her features.  
Despite the wrinkles around her kind eyes, the tiredness in her face and the exhaustion in her posture, and even though she was now a middle-aged woman you could still see her beauty, open mind and wild nature.

She worked hard, was appreciated by all, and all knew that the sorrow of her heart had brought her to them, and despite the fact that they would all be happy for her and wish with all their hearts that he would magically come back to her, nobody believed it would happen.

He stared back as long as he could see her standing there, 

when the carriage took him away from his village, and missed her so terribly, as they had never been separated for more than the hours of a long working day.   
His heart ached and he grabbed his chest.

Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum

The beautiful young man could not yet fully understand what had happened to him. He didn't know anything about fighting, except a few punches with his brothers or some other boys from the village, he had never known violence. The thought of being able to go back to his girl soon kept him from simply running away and returning home.

But if only he had done so!

Instead, they drove for days to a place where they were trained to become soldiers who would fight in different wars, although nobody really knew what it was all about. Only the thought of his girls kept him going. 

It wasn't long before he and the men from his village were led to their first battle and he had to watch people die whom he had known since childhood.

They moved forward, fighting and killing, being wounded and recovered, captured by the enemy and released after years of prison. But instead of being allowed to return home, he had to stay and carry on as before.

He taught himself to write and wrote letters, but they disappeared unread in the turmoil of war and time. Hope almost left him, but only the slightest thought of her made his heart beat with a new courage to face life and he knew he would see her again. Eventually.

Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum

The years passed slowly like the longest winter. And after years of war, suffering and injuries, the great leaders of the warring countries finally agreed on peace. And he was allowed to leave.

Although he was marked by the pain of loss and horrors, he found his strength again as he headed home. Only the belief that she was still alive and had remained eternally faithful to him like he to her drove him on. So that he fell from his horse completely exhausted and clasped his chest in pain.

Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum.

A swirling picture of flickering stars dancing before his eyes, a pressure on his lungs like when his horse fell on him and broke some of his ribs. The urge to breathe made him desperate and he felt tears rolling down his cheeks. An old monk looked at him worried and, shook his head. Asking his name over and over again, he wiped his eyes but the soldier did not know why.

Tiredness drew him into the darkness, but he did not want to sleep. Breathing heavily, he held his side and his heart pounded painfully against his ribs.

"Be patient, my son!" 

Cried the old monk and the still beautiful man wondered why. He did not want to wait any longer. Only a few miles away from his girl, from home, he did not want to wait and sat up and tried to leave.

"But if you are who you say you are, we must tell her!" The monk cried and the soldier's heart pounded in his chest.

Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum.

Suddenly she was cold, as if she had been poured over with icy water. She straightened up from the squatting position in front of a patient and her back became all-warm. Goose bumps spread out and her heart beat violently. Still she was very calm. She knew it. She felt him and turned around slowly.

The room expanded and it was cold and warm at the same time, and although almost twenty years had passed, and he was scarred by the wars, he still looked like he did then. 

They saw each other, but remained in their place. No hasty steps, no loud howling, or happy laughter. No fainting. Only silence. And the soft pounding of their hearts.

Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum.

Nobody knew who made the first step and how many they needed, but it didn't matter. It all didn't matter when they finally stood in front of each other and, just like when they were children, put their left hand to each other's faces and finally looked into each other's eyes. But then they were also too exhausted to do so and his forehead sank against hers.

Her hand slid across his face and neck and rested on his heart while he wrapped both arms around her. They breathed, they cried, but they remained still.   
They knew. They just knew, for it was like it always has been. Their hearts beat in unison. 

Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On the one hand I wanted to show that she could find her own way, but I also wanted to be realistic about what "professions" were possible for women at that time.


	8. Sanditon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This time the two Soulmates are in Sanditon long time after the final of season 1 of the series. 
> 
> WARNING: It will be sad.  
> (But no, not this sad, but still sad.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We have reached the last third of this story.
> 
> I'm sorry that it took some time with the update, but I had this in mind for a while but was not sure if I should really do it...but I did. (Sorry Tom)

Sanditon, 1875

She stood on the cliff-top and stared down at the sea, which was overlooked by small white boats that had already arrived for the annual regatta that she had helped create. All flags were still at half-mast one year after his death to express their grief. Yes, she felt the grief too. Of course she did. Even if the pain of losing a dear person to death made her bleed in her soul, this place on the cliff-top also reminded her of a very different kind of farewell.

Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum.

Her heart was pounding painfully in her chest as he came towards her with strong steps. She hoped and feared his words and actions in equal measure, yet wished to give herself to her feelings and let him embrace her. It was the painful distorted face that she saw, which would show her his deep feelings, his love and guilt even many years later.

He wanted to kiss her. She felt it in his powerful restraint. Tears in his eyes he begged her with mirrored words to prevent him from doing so and to marry her instead. But she could not do that. She said the words that would still burn in her soul years later, because only in the beginning she had believed the other would truly love him. But after all that was yet to come, even her naive heart, which believed in love at all costs, knew that this was not the truth.

But in this moment she would rather have him believe that she would get over him than let his family down and starve. So they parted with words that could hardly cross their lips.

"Goodbye Charlotte, I wish you every happiness."

And she knew he meant what he said. His truest self wished for nothing more than her happiness that she would find a way to get over him, the pain, and their love.

"Goodbye."

She had replied in a voice drowned in tears and had got into the carriage with the last of her strength. 'Don't look at him, don't look at him'! Her inner voice screamed, but she didn't listen and looked into his pain-distorted face one last time as he closed the door of the carriage. They both knew that it hurt them both physically and emotionally to let the other go. For their hearts were beating in silent agreement.

Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum.

Charlotte simply could not bring herself to look back. To see the sight of his proud figure broken and sunk in himself standing there. Her heart broke once more as she thought of his pain.

Sinking down in her seat, she allowed herself to be calmed by the rocking of the carriage. It was pointless to cry about what could have been and what could have become in the future anyway. 

The pragmatism would hopefully help her to live with the lost. Somehow. The destroyed hopes, all the feelings and emotional pressure of the last weeks had wrung her out and she fell into a kind of sleep, although she kept her eyes open and looked out onto the ever-distant sea.

The dull thump of her heart brought her back. Back, to the moment when her heart almost stopped beating for the first time. And no, it was not the memory of the unexpected moment as he had asked her to dance at Mrs Maudsley’s Ball. It was years before that. 

It was in the woods that bordered her father's estate. In which they were not actually allowed to stay unaccompanied. There were dark creatures, they said. Not only her parents but all their neighbours. But she didn’t care in the moment as she ran after her little brother who had stolen her book because she should rather play with him than read another stupid novel about love. But at the age of almost thirteen this crime was a mortal sin in her opinion.

Her brother kept stopping to wave the book and mock her with stupid jokes about her taste. Charlotte heard him laugh and sing silly songs. But then it was suddenly very quiet. She called his name and the anger at him gave way to concern for his welfare. She ran faster in the direction where he had disappeared and froze at the sight in front of her. 

"This is a strange book for a little boy."

Said an older man who picked up the book from the ground and gave it back to her brother. It seemed that it was his family behind him on a strangely colourful painted carriage with all kinds of things on it. The family seemed a little wild, but not hostile. They must have belonged to the travelling people and were either passing through or leaving, considering that the remains of a camp could still be seen in a circle of trees.

"It belongs to my sister." 

Her brother declared, and as soon as she reached him with her last steps, he grabbed her hand and pressed the book to his chest as if it was his one and everything. The old man nodded and looked his sister up and down.

"Hmmm. The search for love will never come to a happy end." The old man said and his watery blue eyes bored into her dark ones. Which filled immediately with tears and her heart was about to stop at his words.

"Because love does not want to be sought and found." 

Charlotte looked at him questioning with her brows contracted and her eyes squeezed together. The old man smiled wisely and explained further.

"It seeks you. And will stay when you are ready."

She felt her heart come back to life and it began to beat again after she heard him saying that.  
Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum.

"Show me your hand."

He said in a dominant tone and she felt her brother pressing himself to her side and clawed his fingers into the rough fabric of her dress. But she was not afraid. What could happen? She gave him her right hand, but the old man pointed to her left one, took it into his rough ones and followed the lines with one of his dirty fingers. Through clenched teeth he sucked in the air sharply. It seemed more like an animal hissing than the sound of a person.

Her heart made a quick leap before it started beating more violent again and she wanted to take her hand away from the old man, but he only made a short, concentrated sound and kept looking at her hand. 

"You will be found by love. It brings you to life and... Oh!" Heavy he breathed in and continued with an almost choked voice. "It will burn you down." 

"Burn?" The young girl asked shocked.

"Your heart." He nodded slightly and was back under control so far so he kept talking as if it was an everyday statement. "In passion and pain, just as the many times before..."

Then he looked at her with his piercing eyes. They seemed sad and yet full of hope.

"And beyond."

Time stood still. Her brother hid behind her and hardly dared to look at the old man any further, but suddenly he didn't seem as threatening and tall as he did a moment ago. His face and eyes became very soft. With both hands he squeezed hers in a strangely familiar way. He bowed slightly and said in a cryptic way.

"Forgive me for not recognising you right away." 

"But we don't know each other." 

Charlotte replied confused, although she felt all of a sudden as if she knew him from long ago, yet she was certain she had never seen him ever before. A moment later she was glad to finally have managed to remove her hand from the old man's grip. He smiled knowingly and said in conclusion.

"Never lose hope. The love that will find you is eternal."

He bowed with a smile and went back to his carriage where his wife and grown-up children were waiting with alert eyes. 

"But what does it mean?" The young girl asked quietly, more to herself than to this odd stranger.

"Even though you will suffer pain, oh so much pain of the heart." 

He closed his eyes and shook his head at the knowledge what this girl and her beloved will have to suffer so dreadfully in the future. So similar to their common past. And his wife seemed to feel the same pain, because she pressed one hand to her heart and her other over her mouth to supress a sob.

"But be sure." The old man turned to her and smiled. "You will find every happiness."

Then he climbed on the coach box and looked down to her.

"Both of you."

And to the rhythm of the horses' hoof beats as they trotted off without haste, her heartbeat strongly in her chest. Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum.

These words of this strange old man, back in her early youth echoed in her as she sat in the carriage on the way home to Willingden, with a broken heart and broken dreams of a life with him. Sidney. She pressed her hand to her chest to soothe her aching heart. It calmed down to the memory of the rhythmic bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum.

And a small spark of hope rose in her. Hope that Sidney and she would be able to be happy again one day. A soft smile played around her mouth and the loss seeped from her outer shell slowly deep into her inner one where it gathered in her heart and should remain hidden from the outside world. At least for a while.

He stood there. Tall. Broad and proud. Still incredibly attractive, even though his hair had already turned almost completely grey. Just like his beard, which he had given up shaving long ago. But it didn't matter she still loved him, just as fiercely and completely as in her early twenties.

As if he could feel her look across the room, he turned to her and smiled slightly. Even in the most painful hours he could not help smiling at her. 

The longing that had always been there was back in his eyes, just like the pain of their separation. Still. After all these years and decades. Oh, how she missed his nearness! Whenever he was close to her and yet out of reach. Not as tormenting and heart breaking as it was back then, of course not! But when she was alone and remembered it, the pain hit her like the first time and crushed her soul once again. Charlotte knew she would not be able to survive the loss of him.

She stood up and stepped to the window to calm down. It was neither the time nor the place to be so selfish and think about her feelings half a lifetime ago. Looking out onto the barren, empty street and remembered her first visit here, which was a forgotten lovely memory and as well a nightmare chapter in her life. With all the memories of the beloved friends she had met here. The long and strong friendship she shared with Georgiana, Esther and of course Mary, who needed her more now than ever before.

At the images that came to her mind then, her heart was beating wildly in her chest for a moment. Here in this town she had met him, here they had fallen in love, here above the town she got her first kiss. So many things had happened here in this room, in Tom’s room. Which still looked exactly the same as it did then, only the model had changed over the many years, just like the town itself. 

How Sanditon and its entire people had changed and grown over all the time. Time, which often seemed to run away from them, but above all, almost stood still when they were together. Like in that one moment. As he told her his true feelings, showed his truest self, open and deliberate. In this room. Where a few days after this declaration he had broken both their hearts. Which, despite everything still beat in harmony. 

Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum.

"What are you thinking about?"

At the sound of his deep voice she closed her eyes to let the sound flow through her body. It wrapped around her heart and she lightly touched his hand before looking up at him. 

His eyes, the quiet deep brown, which immediately captivated her, still with a blazing fire that warmed her inside.

"The old days."

Tentatively she smiled at him, for it hurt her to see the pain on his face that he had caused them both back then in this room. Sidney had never really gotten over what he had to do to save his brother and his family. Even though Charlotte had repeatedly assured him that she had understood in the very moment he had told her and had long since forgiven the pain he had cursed. And she was happy and so was he. It's been such a long time.

Yet in every unhappy look he recognised the pain of that time and condemned himself more harshly than anyone else who was also responsible. And after Tom was gone, there was no way he would ever say a bad word about his brother or be angry with him about the past any longer. Finally he let the past go as well his beloved brother. 

"Are you finally forgetting what happened in this room back in the days?" 

She asked him emphatically. But Sidney only clenched his jaw and explained. 

"I broke your heart in this room, I will never be able to forget that."

"But it’s not broken anymore for such a long time." Charlotte whispered this words so no one would hear it. "And we also had very beautiful moments here."

He nodded with a light smile as an answer, brought her hand to his mouth and kissed it. In a teasing voice she remembered.

"Here you declared your love for me, showed me your truest self, before you ran away."

Her little smile was still the most beautiful thing he ever saw and his gaze sank into her eyes.

"I know." He nodded again and pressed her hand to his heart as their eyes locked.  
"I'm trying to think about that, and of Tom of course."

Charlotte nodded, almost unable to suppress the tears, which filled both their eyes as they thought of Tom.

"After almost 54 years of marriage, you'd better start doing that." She now pressed his hand and both felt their hearts still beat in the same rhythm. 

Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to fill the gaps between the season finale and this story, I would be happy if you read the following stories: 'Fate', 'broken light and 'time goes bye'.


	9. Germany, 1918

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This time we are in Germany. 
> 
> At that time it was often common that young women from good families worked as governesses....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all of you who like this slightly different Sidlotte story and tell me in kudos and the comments.  
> I appreciate it very much, because I like the idea that you will find your soulmate over and over again very much.

Every time she had to go to her lady her heart was beating loudly.  
Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum. 

For she feared that he was also there and her body would betray her feelings for him. The blood then shot into her cheeks, her voice and fingers would tremble. Her enormously throbbing heart would make her dizzy. And if her lady then had something to criticize about her or her work, and she would insult her beyond all measure, she would feel him getting up and wanting to say something.

The times he had already protected her and her work had made the whole situation even worse. He had been insulted that he knew nothing about bringing up children and had no idea how to do it anyway. Afterwards, her lady had demanded that she apologised to her husband for bothering him, even though she had done or said nothing. Of course she had to look him in the eyes. He then nodded to her in a cool way, but she knew the warmth of his eyes were like an embrace.

The young governess had no idea what she had gotten herself into when she had taken up the position two years earlier. She was so lucky to get the employment so quickly after her training and with the help of her great aunt's contacts. 

The lady was only six or seven years older, but she made everybody feel so much younger and so much beneath her, even though the young governess herself was a noblewoman. An impoverished one, but still. She soon realised that, despite the cold that her mistress gave her, she would feel incredibly comfortable in her new home.

The daughter of the lady was a little treasure of gold and of course she immediately took her into her heart. And the child loved her too. The room and the garden were spacious, the payment and food were adequate. She would never forget the first day as she thought she would want to stay in this place forever. 

But then she wanted and should leave it as soon as possible.

The husband of her lady returned to his house, when he was on front leave for a few days and when she came into the parlour behind her protégé to greet him, her heart pounded painfully in her chest. Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum. 

Not because she was afraid that he didn't like her, she had the gift to win everyone over at some point, because she knew the art of silence as well as the art of speech. But when their eyes met for the first time, as he looked up from his little daughter, she felt nothing but a burning in her heart and behind her eyes. They stared at each other for a long moment.

Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum. 

Until he stood up and, with his jaw clenched, asked almost harshly who she was. The young woman almost forgot to curtsey, blink and even breathe. But she managed and introduced herself with a breathless voice and burning cheeks. 

She didn't want it, but her heart longed for him. And every time her lady received a message, she almost died of fear that something had happened to him. And the young woman visibly relaxed when his words did not suggest it. When he was back home for a few days, her heart beat so hard in her chest that she knew she would have to look for a new employment. She couldn't bear to live with him under one roof, so close and yet forever out of reach.

Often there were one or two encounters, as if he had sought her closeness, or a conversation. Once he had apparently even waited for her in the garden and got involved in a long and deep conversation that they almost didn't notice when the lady and her daughter came back from a visit.

Never, no never did they touch or said a word of affection. Nevertheless, the young governess lost herself sometimes in daydreams that she was the woman at his side, the mother of his children. But then she resounded and cried silently and softly into her pillow during the night. 

And she heard the frustration and quarrelling of the couple, who neither shared the bedroom nor awoke in it together.

Of course she couldn't say for sure if they were together at night, but since there was no second child in sight and her mistress didn't complain about not having a son yet, she clung to the hope that he might feel the same for her and couldn't or didn't want to share the bed with his wife.

But of course it was obvious that she would never be happy, just staring at him from afar. She didn't want to be afraid of being caught loving him in secret, hoping and wishing that he would feel the same way about her. The day would come when she would have to leave. 

One day just before Christmas, when the lady had to spend the night with friends because a snowstorm prevented her from coming back, the master invited her to dine with him and his daughter. Of course, she had often been at the table, but she was never allowed to take part in the adults' conversations, even though she had more to say on most topics than his wife. 

He often involved her in the conversation, but as soon as she said more than two sentences, the lady sent her and the daughter away. Often she heard her angry screaming, warning him not to give the stupid nanny the idea that her opinion would mean anything.

But at this evening she was sitting at his side opposite her protégé and could hardly enjoy the delicious food, as she was too busy looking at him, lowering her gaze and not staring into his glowing eyes at every opportunity. Her heart overturned in the violent pounding.  
Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum.

After he had put his daughter to bed himself, he invited her to read in the salon and when she was standing in front of the bookshelf looking for a suitable book, he suddenly stood behind her. His heat pervaded her clothes and she had the horrible yet intoxicating thought that she was standing naked in front of him.

If there had been no consequences, she would have thrown herself at him and let him do with her what ever he desired. But instead she lowered her head and took a few steps away from him.

"Don't you like my nearness?" 

He had asked and she had turned her back to him and pressed her hand to her mouth to suppress her sobbing, but he had heard it and a moment later he gently touched her arm. And declared in his dark breathless voice.

"I long for you."

All her dreams and wishes had come true, she was overjoyed and yet she could not hold back the tears. As he slowly wrapped his arms around her and embraced her from behind, her knees, her heart, everything gave way and she sank against his chest. He pressed his face against her head. Their hearts beat in the same rhythm. 

Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum.

And yet they had no chance to live out their love. He was trapped in a loveless marriage. And she knew they could not be together. Because he would never have disgraced her, would bound her to him as his lover and left her at the mercy of possible discovery and shame. 

The young woman also loved him too much and wouldn’t let him leave his daughter through a divorce. Never. And she knew that when the war would be over, she could no longer live under the same roof with him, knowing he suffered as she did. 

Turning in his arms, she put her head against his chest and listened to the sound of his heart. Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum.

And now a few months after this declaration of their mutual affection, she stood before her lady with her heart beating up to her neck. Full of fear that if she looked into his dark eyes she would burst into tears. She had not done anything wrong and had not yet written her applications. Nobody knew of her desire to leave the house, except the master of her heart, but he had once admitted with a desperate expression to be selfish and never to let her go voluntarily. 

"I need to know you're alright!"

He had explained and also told his fear that she might forget him. But she had assured him that this would not happen and he had only looked at her. His face reflected her own suffering and only the arrival of his guests had forced her to leave the room.

"I will find a way!" 

He said. But then he would have to take the blame and could lose his daughter! She could not let that happen and accepted the truth that they could not be together.

The bright, almost shrill voice of her lady, brought her back into the here and now.

"I am afraid I have to inform you that we can no longer employ you," said the woman with a grin, as if she was happy about it. "Because we are moving to relatives in the country."

Silently she stood there and could only stare down. Then asked when the time would come, but the master interrupted the lady’s answer.

"Until you get a new employment."  
"But we can't do that!" cried his wife "in these times nobody hires a governess anymore!"  
"I think we owe her that much." 

Their eyes met briefly. Before his heart seems to burst as he watched her leaving the room.

They did not see each other for the next few years as the young woman tried to move on without yearning for him. And he searched for her as he finally returned from the war, but could not find her.

"Father, you won't believe who's my teacher this year!" 

His daughter called out to him as she embraced him on his first visit to the girls' boarding school this summer. After the divorce from the mother, who had been caught in adultery, the two had grown even closer together in the last sixteen month.

"Come on, share it with me." 

He said, unsuspectingly, although his heart was suddenly pounding up to his neck.  
Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum

And then his daughter dragged him into the teachers' room, where her former governess had just said goodbye to a couple before slowly approaching them. Her enchanting smile touched his heart and her eyes never left his. Tears ran down his cheeks as he shook his head in disbelief. And when his daughter quietly left the room, knowing about her father's heart, the woman of his heart came one step closer and he pulled her into his arms.

"Please tell me that we can be together now." 

He begged and the fear that she had bound herself to someone else in the last three years they had not seen each other, burned cold through his soul. 

"If you still want me!" 

She returned quietly and he pulled her even closer and buried his face into her shoulder, unable to answer. 

"You can have me." 

She whispered in the warm skin of his neck. 

And the man of her dreams, smiled happily at her before slowly bending his head down to her. When their lips met, it was like a release. They sank into each other. The kiss was tender and gentle at first, but their longing for years gained the upper hand and they could hardly hold back. Their tears mingled with their happy laughter and their hearts beat the same rhythm once again.

Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum.


	10. Zakynthos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We have reached the 'today'.  
> A club hotel, 2016 to be exactly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is slightly different from the others....

Zakynthos, 2016

Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum. 

Strangely enough, he was completely nervous as he walked to the small tavern at the end of the street. It wasn't that he hadn't been on blind dates before, which his friends had organised for him. But this, yes this was something different.

In the end she had chosen him. 

It was just a stupid game in the club hotel where they had stayed for half a week, which he had to play involuntarily as his mates had made a joke of signing him up for it.

They had been separated by a heart-shaped screen and didn't know what they looked like, and since they also disappeared into the crowd of the audience separately afterwards, she had obviously not chosen him for his looks. Instead, she had chosen him for his voice and the answers he gave to the questions the holiday entertainer had given her.

And his answers had not been particularly inventive, interesting or funny, contrary to what his two competitors had said.

To these clichéd questions like: 

"After our first date, how do you manage to spend the night at my place?" 

He just answered without enthusiasm.

"I'll just say I forgot my key."

The question asked by his blind date with a hoarse voice:

"How would you seduce me on our first night together?"

He replied, slightly annoyed.  
"I'd not, I'II let you seduce me."

And when they were asked to recite a little poem, he was the only one who quoted Heraclitus in a sophisticated way, instead of giving out some sexist nonsense. It was so obvious that he didn't feel like sitting there at all and the other men were quite annoyed when the woman chose him in the end.

The prize of dinner in a tavern outside the hotel was not only a welcome change. No, it would probably be quite interesting. He wanted to know why she had chosen him.

When he arrived at the small restaurant, he stopped briefly at the door and let his gaze glide over the people in the room. Families and couples were present and he feared he had arrived first. He didn't like that at all, because then he never knew how to greet the woman when she finally appeared.

Normally he stood up like a gentleman, but sometimes he would be looked at with a raised eyebrow, as if it was completely abnormal. Besides, he was always faced with the question of whether to give a hand or a hug? Sometimes he had even been forced to kiss on the cheek, although he only did that with people he knew.

The waiter came to him with a grin and asked with a glint in his eyes. 

"Are you the second half to the blind date?"

"Yes, so she's already here?" He then asked and the waiter nodded.

"Very beautiful lady."

He answered and nodded for the man to follow him. Through a small-whitewashed archway, they entered the back of the restaurant, but all the tables were still empty. The waiter looked over his shoulder and pointed to a door that led out into a garden.

There the man stopped and could not believe his eyes. His heart made a strange leap.

Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum.

Not only was she really a very beautiful lady, no, she was the young woman his eyes had often been glued to.

From the first time he saw her, it was that he had a good time in the hotel, which was otherwise as boring and clichéd as he had always imagined. 

The tourists seemed to be just out to get drunk, flirt and get laid. Some of the women were so dressed up in the evenings that he and his friends had made it a hobby to look for them on the beach the next day, where they looked completely different in the bright sunlight and without all the make-up and high heels.

Well, except for one. 

Her.

She had caught his eye on his second day on the beach, not only because she had a sensual figure to kneel down, which she unfortunately almost always hid under rather wide clothes, but also because she had an incredibly lovely smile.

Furthermore, unlike her friends, she always brought a thick book with her, in which she always seemed to lose herself completely. She stuck her nose in it and was so absorbed that she didn't let herself be distracted by her friends who always wanted something from her. She either had to cream their backs or take photos of them.

The young man wondered why she never let herself be photographed he thought she was the most attractive one of the whole group.

Since then, he had searched the crowd for her every evening, and if he hadn't spotted her, he had imagined that she had run away from the spectacle. For he had noticed that her friends had always tried to persuade her to take part in all these ‘I’m single’ games.

But she was just as obviously not in the mood for it as he was. Probably she had also been signed up for the game against her will, which she had certainly explained on stage, but as he had not wanted to be there, he had not really listened.

He liked her already and he felt connected to her in some way.

All the time he had felt the urge to talk to her or invite her for a drink at the bar, which was of course nonsense, as everything was inclusive, but he still felt the need to get to know her. But then he decided against it. After all, in a few days he would return to his normal busy life and a little flirtation on holiday would not change how he normally felt. 

Lonely.

His sister always said that one day the right one would cross his path, but so far the women in his life had only been flops.

In disbelief he then shook his head, how it goes sometimes. Suddenly, hundreds of questions were forming in his head that he wanted to ask her, although he basically refused to get to know any women seriously while on holiday.

His friends often accused him of being too picky, but that wasn't the point. He just didn't want to be involved in trivial affairs. He wanted something real, serious and he had never felt that way about anyone before. He wasn't a fan of fleeting, meaningless flings, nor did he feel like having a drama at the airport and promises to meet up again somehow, which never happened.

Now the waiter had arrived at the table where she was sitting and put the card in the place reserved for him. Apparently he explained to her where the other half of the blind date had gone and then she looked up expectantly and her face got a very enchanting expression. As if she was really happy to meet him here. His heart made a strange double beat.

Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum.

A slight tingling in her chest spread when she saw him standing there. The attractive man stood under the doorframe and looked over at her with a not interpretable look on his face. She could hardly believe her luck, because when she admitted it to herself she secretly hoped it would be him.

She had seen him repeatedly for several days, and she had noticed not only his incredible attractiveness, but also that he, just like her, did not participate in club dancing and these single-games.

A couple of times their eyes had caught on each other when she was lying on the beach with her book and he went to play beach volleyball with his friends, well-trained and tanned. And incredible sexy.

She would have loved to join them, because she loved sports, but her friends were all too lazy for that, and as if he had somehow heard her thoughts, he had looked over his shoulder or even turned completely around to her, as if he wanted to invite her to join his team.

But of course she hadn't dared to go, she had pulled her mouth and then turned back to her book. Well, not really, because her eyes had wandered back to him constantly all the time, how he had won against his buddies. Heated and shining with sweat he had then run into the sea and had turned to her at least once. Or in her direction. Or to anyone else who happened to be in the same direction. But each time her heart had been pounding with excitement in her chest.

Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum.

In the evenings, she had watched him several times leaning against the bar, his drink in his hand and an annoyed expression on his well-shaped face, staring at the activity in front of him. Sometimes he was amused about his buddies and grinning at them. He then took a sip and let his gaze wander over the crowd dancing this stupid club dance on the dance floor, just like all her friends. She liked the thought that maybe he was looking for her.

Often she had then felt his gaze rest on her and had a certain feeling as if they knew each other from somewhere, but that was impossible. She would certainly remember such a man, as handsome as he was.

Sometimes it even seemed as if he was about to come towards her, but something always seemed to stop him. Most of the time he drank his drink, avoided looking in her direction again and disappeared.

Then she lay awake in her bed and thought of him. Her friends then urged her to go to him, but she had her principles and she did not want to break them. No flirtations on holiday.  
It didn't do anything but cause heartache, because afterwards they would never see each other again, even if they came from the same town.

But as he now moved smoothly like a panther between the tightly seated chairs and tables to get to her, her heart beat louder with every step he came closer.

Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum.

Uncertain whether she should remain seated and shake hands with him or was even able to stand up, she watched him come closer. Oh, he was even more attractive on closer inspection and she felt the blush rise to her cheeks.

And before she knew it, she was already standing and after a short hesitation on both sides they embraced each other as if they had known each other for a long time. 

His aftershave flowed through her nose into all her senses and she was aware that she would never forget his scent again. She felt his heart beating through his shirt and felt even more strangely connected to him.

Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum.

As they slowly separated again, they both looked at each other with a smile on their faces, before they were able to say.

"Hello."

They sat down and introduced to each other before trying to collect their thoughts by ordering some food. But as both were a bit nervous, they ordered only one plate with different meze and bread.

The chirping of the crickets and the scent of the lush flowers in the garden and the lemon tree under which they sat caused both of them to relax relatively quickly and they began to converse easily. She had chosen the young man exactly for the reasons he had already thought. His not so funny answers and his voice. They laughed. They talked about different places where they had already spent their holidays and why they had ended up here.

At some point he reached over the table and wiped a small drop of sauce from the corner of her mouth with his napkin and both of them stopped breathing at the small innocent touch. 

Then the moment of silence extended and the two simply looked at each other. The candle standing between them on the table stopped flickering for a moment and also froze. Time seemed to have stopped. And their gaze deepened. 

The woman felt her heartbeat slow down and his heartbeat echoed the same rhythm.

Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum.

They looked at each other for a moment longer, but didn't talk about what they had just felt for a few seconds and each hung on to their own thoughts until the waiter came to their table and told them that the tavern would close soon.

Both seemed to be disappointed, as each had decided that they had actually enjoyed the evening too much to say goodbye to each other already. Both hesitated and then said like from the same mouth.

"Are we going to the beach?"

They laughed again, nodded and left the tavern and strolled slowly down to the beach. Both took off their shoes and walked barefoot to the water's edge, paddled and splashed and run after the other, laughed and then fell onto the damp sand at some point, slightly exhausted.

The silence returned and while the two stared up into the night sky, their hands accidentally touched. Their hearts beat faster.

Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum.

But neither of them pulled their hand away and as if a secret agreement had been made they slowly slid their fingers into each other and pressed their palms lightly together. 

A warm shiver ran up their arms and stretched across their chests. Both of them released their gaze from the night sky. They looked at each other and got completely lost in the sight of another. The distant light of the moon and the street lamps along the promenade cast soft shadows on their heated faces.

The young woman even thought she saw suddenly a beard on his face and scars. Then he seemed younger. This all happened in a fraction of a second and yet she thought it had taken much longer.

She shook her head slightly confused, and then let her gaze wander slowly over his face. He was really beautiful and she sank completely into his dark eyes. They seemed so familiar to her as if she had known them all her life. At that thought, her heart made that strange double beat again.

Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum.

The heart of the man was also beating wildly in his chest, he shook his head for a moment. He had really believed for a moment that her face looked completely different.

Like in a movie, it had changed slightly, but still noticeably. Suddenly she seemed years older, with wrinkles around the eyes and grey strands in her hair. Then she looked younger, with only shoulder-length hair and then once with dishevelled, almost felt-like hair that stood wildly away from her head.

How strange. 

What was going on?

Only now did he realise that he had pulled their joined hands to his chest and she had moved a bit closer to his side. He could feel her light, lemon-scented breath on his skin. The thought of kissing her passed through his head and his eyes fell for a short moment on her lips. Once again he searched for her eyes and leaned slightly closer.

Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum.

Hammered her heart as he leaned closer and she froze for a moment, fearing that it would end miserably if she let him kiss her. She had felt this way the whole evening and despite her principles, she wanted to let it happen. The strange knowledge, that she had no choice anyway, reassured her and yet upset her equally. 

She knew when his soft looking lips met hers that she would fall hopelessly for him. She was sure that they should let it be, as there was no future for them anyway, they would go their separate ways in a few days and never see each other again.

But her body was leaning against him as if an invisible hand was pressing her into his arms. His face came closer and she closed her eyes, for she could no longer withstand his sad, even desperate look.

"There are a thousand reasons not to do it."

He whispered into her lips as they almost touched and she could only reply weakly.

"I know."

They held still for a short time. The heat displaced the cold on their legs. Everything became very slow. Like in the slowest slow motion. Their lips were tingling. But neither of them wanted to be the one who crossed the invisible border, nor did they want to break the moment and withdraw. They lingered like this. Lips hovering in front of each other, hardly touching. Not giving in. Just enjoying the moment and listening to their hearts.

Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum.

When it got even colder, they got up and brushed the damp sand off their clothes. Looking at each other for a moment. He reached out his hand to her and she took it with a smile. They fit perfectly. Slowly they went back to the hotel. Now and then they gazed at the face of the other. Smiling with despair. Let their eyes sink sadly on the way in front of them.

Arriving at her hotel room, they did not want to part from each other. The bittersweet melancholy of the moment stretched out. 

"Will I see you tomorrow?" Asked the man, although it sounded more like a statement.  
"Yes." She replied, leaving no doubt. 

And as they couldn't help it, they sank into each other' s arms for an all too short moment.

Too tired to sleep they both wondered what had happened that night. That it had been almost magical. The strange connection, the deja-veux feeling. The self-evident way their hands found each other and almost their lips. And the unspeakable sadness that had accompanied these moments. It pulled painfully in her chest. 

Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum.

One tear rolled down her cheek, but she didn't wipe it away. She felt it until it dripped down onto her pillow, but she was sure it wasn't the last tear she had shed because of him. 

And not the first either. 

The rest of the night he had stared at the ceiling. He was sure he already knew her, although this was the first time he had seen her and he had never visited any place she had ever been. Both had avoided mentioning their hometown without agreement, as neither believed that a holiday flirtation could become more than that, but he knew he would see her again. At that thought his hand lay on his heart and it vibrated through his body. 

Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum. 

The next days passed like a slow dream. They enjoyed every moment together, had breakfast, sat on the beach and even drove with a small boat to a nearby, lonely bay. There he could hardly resist her charms and threw himself into the waves, shaking his head about this intense feelings. 

Again they lay on the beach. On a warm white beach. Facing each other, to memorize every single freckle, beauty mark, and wrinkle. With light fingers she brushed over his face and he clenched his jaws tightly to avoid doing the same. He could hardly control himself anymore, but he knew, he would not be able to hold back, when he would touch more than just her hand. 

They hardly spoke. They only felt.

With their eyes closed, they leaned closer until their foreheads touched. When her hand came to rest on his chest, hers also contracted painfully and he couldn't help pressing her hand with his, as if it was supposed to sink through his skin.

Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum. 

Only one day later he had to leave. 

After returning by boat and sitting on the beach all night until the sun rose on the horizon, she walked him to the bus that would take him and his friends and other tourists to the airport. They remained in a firm embrace until the bus driver had already closed the doors. Once more he ran his fingers over her face and tenderly stroked her lips with his thumb.

"Don't forget me." She breathed.

"I won't!" He said in a firm voice.

Their eyes got locked one last time, and then he got into the bus. Pressed against the window he looked at her until the bus went around a corner and they could no longer see each other.

It was goodbye. But she was not destroyed. Her heart was beating quietly and did not hurt. 

Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum. 

For her heart seemed to remember….  
................................................................. their future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ....to be continued.


	11. Edinburgh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They are alone. But the thought of each other helps them find their way in their new life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the second part of the previous chapter.
> 
> And the penultimate of this story.

Edinburgh, 2016 

  
  


Everything was fine. She was fine. After everything that had happened and what had happened to her after that, she was fine. Confused, but fine. Although she wished she had let herself carried away by the feelings she had and let him kiss her. But of course, she knew that it was better that way. 

Still, the pain would have been all the more welcome for her to remember that he was not just a dream. That he was not a fleeting thought, a figment of her imagination, but that he was real. And the love they had felt. 

At least this last day had felt like a dream. The sunny day on this white beach. His beautiful body rose from the waves, dark and strong. His stormy dark eyes and the feelings that felt so welcome but not new. Somehow.

She closed her eyes and saw his face before her eyes. So close and familiar and yet unreachable, gone forever. The only thing she knew was his name. She knew that he came from the same country as she did, but that was all they had told each other. For fear that the dream of meeting again was not possible because of the circumstances of life, they had tried to exclude it from the beginning.

And although she had strangely felt no pain when they said goodbye, her heart was now beating violently in her chest.

Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum. 

She tried to repress the thought of him. Even if the idea of him only made her happy. Although a little wistful. But in this moment she had to concentrate on other things, after all her whole life had come apart at the seams after she had returned from her heart changing holiday trip with her friends.

Life was sometimes so strange. Light and heavy at the same time. And again, her head could do nothing but compare everything to the fateful encounter with him.

Why had she met him, at a time when she longed for love but was not really ready for it? And as soon as she had seen him, she had believed, no, she had known that everything was possible.

With him. 

Despite the fact that it wasn't and they both shared the same attitude and preferred not to get involved. But still she was sure that he was her second half.

Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum. 

She shook her head to return to the task before her. 

Unfathomable paths seemed to be dictated by fate, for if she had known then what she knew now, she would not have gone on holiday with her friends. She would never have met him and would not have stored those magical moments with him in her heart to bathe in the warm feeling whenever she needed to.

Like now.

The thought of him calmed her. The memories of his fingers on her skin gave her strength. She was sure he would support and assist her, although he knew nothing about her problem and the difficult task she had to face. And of course he was not with her. But she had seen it in his eyes. And this strange feeling of already knowing him assured her that he would support her.

Once again she thought nothing more than of him. 

And once again she tried to put him out of her mind she had an unknown way to go. Which she would follow alone. No one could help her with the coming decisions. Her friends were too astonished about the changes that life could take after the latest developments that they didn't want to tell her what to do. 

Every step that lay ahead of her was a step towards the crossroads. It could now change her whole life if she would take this one step in this one direction and not in the other. Everything would be new. Everything familiar would be left behind. A new beginning and maybe the way into a future that she had never seen for herself, but which was perhaps her destiny.

Just like the encounter with him. 

Smiling, she clutched her chest to feel the vibration of her heart. Then she felt as close to him as if he was standing next to her.

Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum. 

The young man stood in the lift with a tired expression on his face. He was so bored. In the memory of the last days of the holidays, when he was with her, he had the feeling that he was alive and now all this positive feelings were gone. Everything was incredibly boring… without her. 

And that was such a ridiculous thought, because after all, they only knew each other for two full days and three half nights. It felt like he had also left all his energy as he left her standing at the hotel entrance, as the bus was taking him to the airport to bring him back to his busy, lonely and as he knew now for sure, boring life.

Not that he didn’t love his job, and talking to his colleagues, but since he had returned from the holidays, he had the feeling he didn't fit in this company any longer. Maybe they felt it too, and want him to leave. A thought that would have disturbed him very much in the past, but now he doesn't feel so uncomfortable at that thought to go. Maybe there was waiting another life for him, somewhere.

It seemed almost as if she had opened his eyes not only his heart, although they had hardly spoken about professional matters. The thought of her made him smile. Although the story had moved his sister and mother to tears, and his sister had called him names for how stupid he had been to leave her behind, he couldn't cry over the lost opportunity.

He had the feeling, or rather the strange knowledge, that all would be well in the end.  
Why he knew that, he could not say. It was just there. His heart just knew.

Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum. 

His heart was beating calmly in his chest. And it made him smile. Then despite he had felt so much pain in his chest as he had left her, that his friends were worried that he would get an heart attach, he knew somehow, that it wasn’t the end. Even he did know nothing more than her name. 

It was very crazy but he felt still connected with her. The feeling of her warm eyes caressing his face still lingered on his skin. The light touch of her small hand on his chest memorised as if he had a still slightly stabbing new tattoo there. A light burning had seeped under his skin and still whispered to his heart.

Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum. 

He smiled at the memory of her beautiful laugh. And he kept this light spirit what hovered over him in every moment he felt her close. When he closed his eyes, he could see every freckle, wrinkle almost every single lash. This beautiful face, and her soft lips so close. 

Regretfully, he thought that he would probably forever wonder what it would have been like to kiss her. It would have been tender, slow and full of emotion. He nodded as if it was a real memory.

The lift bell brought him back to reality and made it clear to him that he had arrived at the top floor. That he finally had to pull himself together and that the conversation that now lay before him would probably change everything, but he would try not to let his boredom show and would first listen to what his bosses had to tell him.

The idea of changing his life seriously had not occurred to him before. So much lay on his shoulders, was connected with his life. It was not all that simple. After all, he was responsible for his sister and mother he did not want to change their lives as well, even though both assured him that they would be fine wherever he would go. His sister even said.

"Find your way, we will follow or visit you in your new life."

But perhaps it would not come to that. And it was just another assignment he was supposed to take over or something in his last cases had gone wrong and he would get in trouble. Maybe even a pay rise? Then he had to laugh for a moment as he walked down the hall to the office he already was expected. It would almost be a miracle if his bosses would finally recognise his work and pay him accordingly.

This would be even more surprising than that one of the older shareholders was finally willing to sell him his shares of the company. In this way he could finally become something like his own boss.  
In front of the door he took a deep breath and thought of the smell of her hair and her sun-kissed skin, so that the memory of her scent was lingering in his senses. It calmed him down even more and his energy came back, like she was standing next to him.

Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum. 

Still surprised at herself that she had gone this way, she looked out the window of the small office. She had kept the furniture of her father, whom she had never met, as she felt that she would get to know him better, even if he was gone forever. Everything was somehow lost, because of her mother's lying, the decision to leave her old life behind was not a difficult as she had thought. Yet she felt comfortable here and strangely free. Although she felt lonely, she was fine.

Maybe it was because after her studies she had always wished to own an antiquarian bookshop herself instead of just being employed by one. It was like a dream came true. Even the alley where the shop was located was just as she had always imagined it would be.

She let her fingers run over the treasures in her shop and was somehow sure that she would find her happiness here. Maybe not necessarily in this alley, but in this city.

Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum. 

He stood at the window of his office and looked out at the street below him. It was not difficult for him to leave his old life behind, even though he missed his mother and especially his sister, but the opportunity to take over the local office was exactly what he had wished for in his career.

His secretary knocked on his door and said goodbye for the evening, and shortly afterwards he walked to his flat, which was only fifteen minutes away on foot. He passed a few restaurants and the smell of delicious food was filling his nose and he was about to stop and tried to figure out, where to eat when he suddenly had a strange feeling.

He let his eyes wander over the crowd of tourists in front of him and turned in every direction. His field of vision narrowed, an undefined cold feeling seized him. Then he became very warm and his heart almost jumped out of his chest.

Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum.

She could not believe her eyes as she looked at the entrance door of her shop. Their eyes became locked for a long moment. All memories whirled around in her head and mixed with the image in front of her. Goose bumps were all over her skin and suddenly her heart was pounding so hard that she feared she would faint.

Everything else was blurred in a colourful whirlpool of feelings that raged inside her, and she couldn't stop thinking she was dreaming. As if wrapped in cotton wool she moved forward and had to hold on to the shelves that lined the way to the door. Her blood pulsed in her ears and chest.

Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum.

When she arrived at the door, she clawed her fingers into the doorframe, and if it had been wooden, it would certainly have splintered under her grip. The tears in her eyes blurred the view before her and she was no longer sure whether she was dreaming or really awake. Was it really happening? Her knees were very weak and she wondered how she could still stand upright. Suddenly the doorway seemed to become more and more narrow, she was unbelievably cold and she was sure that she had imagined everything.

Suddenly he was standing just a few steps away from the door and he wasn't sure if he was really standing there in that alley or if he was still lying in his bed dreaming about her. As he had been doing every night for weeks. Tears clouded his vision and he was unable to say anything.

All of a sudden their fingers touched. The heat flowed through their hands trough their bodies. They pressed their palms together and looked at each other in disbelief. 

Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum.

Just one step.

Just one more step and they stood so close together that they could see the tears glistening on the other's cheek. Unable to do anything else, they stood there staring into each other's eyes for a long while.

A light breeze made her hair dance and a strand of hair caught her lashes. Her eyes fluttered and the spell was broken. He lightly touched her cheek and wiped the hair strand off her face. She closed her eyes at his soft touch and leaned even more into his hand and warmth.

A moment later she pushed her arms around his neck and he wrapped his around her waist, pulling her so tight that nothing would have fit between them. They felt, no, they knew that they would never let the other go. They belonged together and at this common thought their hearts beat violently against each other. Together.

Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum.


	12. Somewhen over the rainbow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Somewhen over the rainbow the two soulmates meet again. There, ageing and dying is no longer so easy. 
> 
> Maybe this is their last time?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear lovely readers,
> 
> thanks for reading and feeling this little story. It means a lot to me, for it has a very special place in my heart. 
> 
> And sorry for the long waits between the chapters, but I have done a lot of research, for the centuries, places and also the future, numerology and the belief in soulmates. Everything has a meaning.
> 
> I hope for you too.

Like every day he stands in front of the monitors. Like every day, he records the expected events of the day with the help of the Delphi-computer. But today is a special day. The new women will arrive in the next moment. In a few days, new professions will be learned. New futures formed. New couples will be united.

In the past, it had bothered him that such a future was not meant for him. But after years of training he had learned to suppress his longing. No woman, no man or one of the sexless people was meant for him. He was 87 years old and had lived for 53 years at the age of reunification. But even the physical union did not bring him the long lasting happiness described in all books and writings about love.

He would spend more than another 30 years with this looks, before the signs of age would appear, like deeper wrinkles or grey hair. And even if one of the old people thought that for some people the right person would only be found then, he did not believe in it any more.

His ability to be empathetic and to judge people almost always correctly had earned him this position. But after eight hours of being connected to the Delphi, during which he only see numbers, dates and faces, he is so mentally exhausted every evening that he usually go into his apartment. He does not want to see or meet anyone, let alone get to know someone. Although he often feels lonely and the longing for a life in a different place cause him to stare out the window with an unending ache, he had long since given up hope of ever experiencing another life than this.

The faces of the new inhabitants, who would start a new life in a few days, pass by him in femtoseconds. Nothing noticeable. A few uncertainties. A few show-offs and posers. Some shy and neutral ones. Strong, fragile, empathic ones like him. Everything was there. As fast as he sees and perceives them, he will forget them later.

It rumbles quietly, which shakes the monitors so little that hardly anyone notices it. But his attention is briefly distracted. As if in eternal slow motion a picture rushes by and he notices every detail of the face, freckles on the nose, on the forehead above the eyebrows. A few isolated under the eyes. Big, intelligent eyes. 

Lovely, yes, but there is more. He doesn't know what or why, but his heart is rumbling.

Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum.

Below her, she sees the ocean glittering in the morning sun. It distracts her from her actual task of listening. But still she cannot look away. The different shades of blue and the foaming up of the waves are simply incredibly beautiful. She would like to dip her hand in and sense how it feels on her skin. Would it really burn her, as she was always being taught? Or was that just another trick of the old to keep the young in check?

Her thoughts play through hundreds of scenarios at the same time of what might happen if she would do it. What will happen, when she would open the door and jump out? Would it hurt to hit the water surface? Or would it be soft like the water she drinks and wash herself with?

She sees the buildings under the surface of the water shimmering. What is it like to live down there? Instead of birds, fish will float by, some as huge as the drones the old ones use when they fly to one of their meetings. She would love to get to know all these things. See them of her own, with her own eyes.

As the ferry docks there is this short, low hum that only people like her can hear. So many non-sentient people surround her. Sometimes she is happy, because then she can perceive things that the others are not even aware of. Nobody pretends to be someone else if they are not aware that they are under observation. One of her hobbies is to analyse people. When she watches them, she sees how they think, get distracted, and say things they don't really mean. A little twitch in the eyes or the corner of the mouth reveals the untruth.

Often she feels lonely, because since her gift was recognised, she has been trained to focus all her senses at the highest possible level, to switch off others, to communicate with all her senses. Therefore she rarely speaks. But maybe that will change now. If she passes the test she came here for, she might meet like-minded people and also start conversations with them.

Wondering why all the other girls are there, she closes her eyes and takes a deep breath to switch off all other senses. Just listening. Maybe a conversation will reveal what awaits the others.

Voices murmuring. None of the voices can she filter out clearly. The women are striving towards the exit. Quietly. With joyful expectations, she could hear their heartbeats. The nervous chewing of chewing gum and nibbling on lips. The scratching of fingernails. The light rustles of clothes and hair being pushed behind ears.

May she dare to ask directly? Or will she be put on the list right away? Does this ominous list even exist or is it just another unfounded threat that the old people use to prevent the young from joining forces? What is wrong with it anyway? What are the old people afraid of? What if and why at all?

Trapped in her thoughts, she went to the exit just like everyone else. The bridge is a giant tube, made of glass and everyone stops in amazement. Above them the blue sky of the eternity, clouds and a colourful rainbow somehow below them. In some places it seems as if one is walking on the colourful strip.   
Also some upper floors of the sky-high building, what they would now call their home. And behind the horizon, the lights of a city. Beautiful, yet inaccessible. At least so far.

She follows the others to the entrance. 6 feet distance, to be disinfected and identified. A tall redhead stands in front of her, smelling of excitement. Her heart jumps around nervously. But her face shows no movement, she is good at suppressing emotions. How enviable!

Some women are directed to the left, some to the right and some straight ahead, she noticed. What is the difference? Less than in a blink of an eye, her eyes jump to the different women. Every figure, every hair and eye colour. Different ages. Where is the similarity? Why do some go there, others go there? Why, why?

4 feet. The beauty in front of her is asked to turn right. 2 feet. One step. Through the scanner. 

"Straight ahead." Says a voice.

Stepping on the moving walkway. 6 feet apart to the woman in front of her. Do not walk! 

The air is cool. The ventilation system is quiet. All walls are made of white glass. Behind it she can see shadows walking around. No smell, no other sound. Well, not directly. Somewhere a dull thud.

She turns her head, searching for the sound. In a femtosecond, she sees the smallest particles in the air floating around. The sounds of the other women. No, that is not that sound she wants to find out. Something unknown. Exciting. Her heart makes a strange leap.

Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum. 

Closing her eyes to locate the feeling. Her scalp is tingling. The feeling of being watched. By whom? Why this smell? Unknown. Her brain cannot identify it. Something she has never smelled before. Scent of a feeling she cannot name. Hard somehow. It's good. She licks her lips, she like the taste of it. The urge to know is strong. Almost unbearably intense.

Her heart is pounding louder.

Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum.

Like a pale memory, she floats by underneath him. She keeps her eyes closed. Seems concentrated. He recognise her as one of the feeler. Probably it is too overwhelming for her mind to feel the excitement of the other women. The new impressions. Sterile smells. Unfamiliar surroundings. Why does he not know, but he cannot take his eyes off her. His heart aches and makes such a strange sound.

Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum.

He should go back to the Delphi computer. But he can’t move. Suddenly he is standing at the railing of the bridge almost three floors above the moving walkway. He has the feeling as if one of the Nano-ropes, where the lifts went up and down at the outside wall of the building, was pulling him towards her. Following the direction in which she is moving on the rolling pavement and stares after her.

Unbearable his heart beats in his chest. Notices how the heat crawls up his back. A light film of sweat forms on his forehead. A strange wish is growing in his head.

Look at me, look at me!

He shakes his head to get rid of the thought. No, that is not his destiny. It never was and never will be. But he can't release his gaze. Can’t turn away, it's as if he was meant to look at her.

Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum.

The woman feels warmth above her. Pressing but not unpleasant. Rather light. A light pressure. Like the light heaviness of a warming blanket.

Opening her eyes she turns to the feeling and looks into a deep brown, soft gaze. Recognizes long eyelashes, small wrinkles, a small beauty spot under the right eye is more pronounced than that under the left one. Frowns on the forehead between dominate eyebrows. Anger or confusion? Wet shining, luscious lips open a little. A long breathe.

The tingling on her skin intensifies. When she hears loud and clear what he whispers to himself. 

"Who are you?"

But she cannot answer, too overwhelmed by the sound of his blood rushing. He is more than 20 feet away, but she can hear his heartbeat and it is as loud as her own.

Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum.

He senses her confusion. Fear, tension and curiosity. And something else he cannot name. Their eyes are glued together until she stumbles off the moving walkway and almost falls. A jolt of fear passes through him and he makes a quick movement as if he could come to her aid and grab her arm. But she stands again, still looking in his direction. 

"Who are you?" 

He asks again, but even if he cannot expect an answer, he knows it is the face from before. Running back to the computer, he closes his eyes. He remembers the number. 

"9205!" 

He calls and her face appears on the monitor. A warm, flowing feeling spreads across his chest.

Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum.

When three hours later the young woman enters the hall, dressed in black like everyone else, she hears many voices talking in tumult. The ventilation shaft vibrates softly, yet audible to her. Glasses clink. Smacking. She perceives so much at once. The dust of powder on the dress of the woman next to her. Glitter particles in the hair of the other woman at the door. The clacking of shoes on the cold stone floor. Clocks ticking. Pearls of sweat on the upper lip of the bearded man at the podium. Various fragrances. Perfumes, also unpleasant ones. Light sweat and the smell of fried food. The sweetness of wine. Laughter. Soft music in the background. Loud clapping. The grunting of the huge skyscraper they were on. 

She tries to concentrate on one sound but it is too much. Her thoughts whirl around and her mind expands.

It is warm and cold. A slight dizziness makes the room spin around her. Slowly everything disappears in a whirlpool. She must concentrate on one thing. One thing. Everything becomes louder. Louder. Shrill and suddenly everything disappears for a quiet…

Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum.

Everyone looks at him in amazement as he enters the hall. He has never been to this event before. Even when he came here as a newcomer, he stayed away from the spectacle. Too many emotions. They sense that something very special is about to happen. All eyes are on him. He leans against the wall, acts uninvolved and waits.

After a moment he is not interesting anymore for those present. He feels the excitement around him. Nothing that he would not have expected. Searching, his gaze roams around. Searching for her. He has to find her. And find out why this had happened when she arrived. Why she was the exception to the rule. Or is? Definitely something special.

But he does not see her. Since everything else is too exciting, he wants to leave again. Then he senses confusion. Nervousness of a different kind. Not fear, but uncertainty he feels. Curiosity. A tension that touches his inside. He turns towards the feeling. 

Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum.

Their eyes get locked. The space between them disappears and it seems to him as if he is suddenly standing in front of her. No one else is present. Only the two of them.

He must go to her. Every step brings him closer. Every step is a beat of his heart. It hammers in his chest. Closer, closer, closer.

Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum.

The view of him becomes more focused, as if she is zooming him in. He seems so close, even though he is at the other end of the room. The feeling is so intense and heavy that she has to lean against the wall behind her.

Her stomach is all warm and her scalp prickles again. Breathing is difficult. It hurts in her chest. The scent that surrounds him, reminds her of strength, it soothes her. As he gets closer, she is even able to see his aura flickering. This happens very rarely. When his merges with hers, it crackles in her ears like the dying of a candle. But his light does not go out, it shines brighter. Everything becomes silent, as if after running through a cold and violent storm outside, coming home. Warm and cosy. And safe. 

Tears jump into her eyes. She knows he knows that she knows, that they know each other. Her heart is thumping deep and calm. 

Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum.

They stare at each other. Both feel the need to say something, but remain silent. But the memories in their heads are crying. 

"At last!"

Desperate disbelief confuses them and makes them both trembling. And yet the strangely secure clarity, the satisfied longing has given way. They know it. They both know it. And not only they, but also those who have observed them.

Without being shy or embarrassed, both raise their right hand at the same time, like programmed robots. She places it on his chest, feels his heartbeat. 

Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum.

The same he feels pulsating under her warm skin when he wraps his fingers around her neck.  
There their hands linger and they sense the endlessness.

"Where have you been?" His feelings scream. 

"I missed you, too!" Hers answers.

But they keep staring at each other in silence.

Apparently suddenly they are standing in the lift, with members of the chief's staff, how they got there they forget. Terribly slowly their hands touch. An electrical impulse passes through them. They don't dare to look at each other. Knowing that they will overcome their reserve and surrender to their feelings, which drastically increase in longing and passion with every moment.

"You know that if she's the one, you have to take her." Says the genderless leader, smiling.

"The same for you." Nodding to the woman, asking the two of them to come closer.  
"So it is true." An amazed sigh.

"What?" The woman asks.

"All my life I have waited to meet soul partners." Another smile.  
"Or like the traditions call it, soulmates."

Both look at the leader questioningly. And sit down, like they are told. The leader calls up a page on the computer, whose screen is the window. Everything that has ever been written about such people appears within three seconds. Behind the words, the blue of the sky.

The two are connected to the Aletheia computer. Their deeply hidden memories are tapped. Which are far and even further back. Every detail of their past lives floats by on the screen. They relive every feeling of the two of them. Both feel the feelings of the other.

Afterwards, they lie in each other's arms, exhausted and in tears. The burden of feelings can only be carried together. The leader reviews the saying of the oracle. What had been said before in other languages and in other words over and over again.

"The souls come back together, different but always together again and again. Love.  
Souls mate eternal... you will find each other, again. I promise."

Both look at the leader. 

"Or you can change your destiny."  
"What do you mean?" They ask.

"Your souls are exhausted. You can rest in this life. And then decide."  
"Decide what?" The man asked.

"Do you renounce the eternal circle, go your separate ways after this life? Or do you live your lives over and over again?"

And when this life is over, and their souls go to infinity beyond the horizon, they make the decision. 

Together.

Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum. Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum. Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum.  
Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum. Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum. Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum.   
Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum. Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum,bumbum. Bum, bum, bumbum, bum, bum, bumbum.

The young man from the island stood in front of the oracle of Delphi...


End file.
